Das Sopranohaus. Everyone (including the Baccalieris, Janice, and Carmela's parents) is gathered around the table as Carm brings out a huge tray of asparagus. "No cactus for me," says AJ, and once again I'm a little too sympathetic on the subject to mock him. "You're not Italian if you don't like asparagus," responds Papa Carmela. "So, what?" answers AJ. "Mike Piazza eats nothing but artichokes? I mean, that's dicked up." Sigh. Shut up, [appropriate Soprano sibling]. Although I will give the writer some credit on the assumption that the "dicked up" thing was a subtle reference to the whole "Mika Piazza is gay" controversy we were forced to endure last year. AJ goes on to spout some racially insensitive theories about his eating habits, and it's left to Bobby to actually criticize him for it. Heh. Tony and Carmela are the worst parents ever. The doorbell rings, and AJ hops up to answer it while Bobby Jr. takes his turn to mouth off to Janice. At least that's for a worthy cause. AJ returns from the front door with Devin in tow, and he introduces her in a quick scene that oddly echoes Adriana's introduction of Agent Lola. Put that in your conspiracy theory pipe and smoke it.
Later, everyone is gathered in the "great room" as Papa Carmela regales us all with yet another hideously boring tale. This time he informs us that he saw Connie Francis buying recessed lighting in a store. Since the punchline to his story doesn't involve a Rolling Stones pun, I'll just skip it and regale you all with the story of the time Matt Damon asked me for directions. No, really. He did. Of course, that's pretty much the entire story, so I'll just be moving on. Tony is visibly relieved when the ringing of his cell phone provides an escape, and he hops up to take the call in the next room. It's Beansie, and he's looking quite stylish with his helmet hair and Mo Green-like massage positioning. Beansie reports that they have a meeting set for Tuesday night in Florida, and Tony thanks him before hanging up.
Meanwhile, Carmela finds Bobby Jr. and Sophia sitting in the living room, watching TV. Despite the fact that they seem perfectly happy, she insists on leading them upstairs to AJ's room. She swings open AJ's door just in time to catch him and Devin frantically trying to separate from one another. Heh. "Is this how you treat your guests?" she asks. "My guests?" he replies. "You invited them!" Sing it with me, folks: Shut up, [appropriate Soprano sibling]. Carmela reminds him that they just lost their mother, which seems to me like an excellent reason to NOT leave them in the care of a budding sociopath and his mini-moll, but then again, what do I know? She demands that AJ help them find a game, and even suggests a few old standbys like Monopoly and Clue.