Out in the hall, Johnny Sack is signing the guest book when Joey Pants comes over and starts babbling to him about whatever excuse Michael Imperioli came up with to put the two of them in the same scene. Johnny answers him with an insouciant, "Stick it in your ass!" and then warns Tony to "Keep him the hell away from me." Tony immediately turns to Joey and demands to know what he did this time, but Joey swears he has no idea. "And I've got better shit to do," sighs Joey. You mean like Janice? "Something's going on," opines Silvio, and Tony connects the dots with Carmine knowing about his plans for Frelinghuysen Avenue. "Somebody's talking to much," he spits, after cueing the promo department to mark this particular section of tape. "And it's costing me money."
Wow. Joey's "better shit to do" actually seems to involve changing his pants at Rosalie's house. And also breaking up with her, but we'll get to that in a minute. First we have to listen to Rosalie's lengthy and somewhat boring marijuana-induced ruminations on death. I guess I shouldn't blame her too much, though. Pretty much all marijuana-induced ruminations tend to be lengthy and boring. After all, I have noticed that my recaps have gotten a lot shorter now that I'm out from under Alan Ball's hazy cloud of bong smoke. I also seem to be cleaning potato chips crumbs out of the keyboard a lot less often. Joey finally admits that he doesn't think he can stay with her anymore, because even though he could be comforting her and caring for her, he's not getting anything out of the deal himself. "What do you get?" asks an incredulous Rosalie. "How about your every need taken care of? Sexually, everything. All your shit." Oy. Now I'm picturing Sharon Angela with the vibrator, which is unfortunate, because it's detracting from her excellent performance in this scene. "You want to leave me?" she asks, and Joey whispers a subdued "Yeah." She immediately throws him out of the house, and sits back to start crying before he's even out the door.
Woo-Hoo! It's Hesh time, baby. Sars hates him, but I love the guy. He's in my pod. Tony and a bunch of the crew have gathered at Hesh's stables to admire a horse that Joey Pants plans to buy. Hesh mentions that the horse's name is Pie-O-My, thus bending the space-time continuum and setting an all-time unbreakable SttM record by mentioning the episode's title two weeks before it even airs. It's also causing me to want to make an Imajica reference, but my inner nerd-detector refuses to allow me to publicly humiliate myself by quoting from a Clive Barker novel. Tony asks Hesh if he has any contacts in the Indian community, and Hesh admits that his niece's cousin runs a casino for the Mohonk tribe in Connecticut. My admiration for Hesh has now been slightly diminished by the fact that he's apparently allowed Donnie Pfaster to marry into his family. Tony explains that he's looking for a way to prevent the Native-American protests, but Hesh isn't sure he wants to help. "I can't say I don't have any sympathy for the red man," he explains. "Jews, because of their history, have common cause with the oppressed." He goes on to tell the story of how settlers gave Indians blankets that were deliberately infected with smallpox, which gets Ruben the Cuban all fired up over the origins of bio-terrorism. He's so fired up, in fact, that the closed-captioning actually makes the first mistake I've ever seen on this show, when they neglect to include the "bio" in front of "terrorism." "Christopher Columbus was no better than Adolph Hitler," he continues, but he doesn't get far, because Hesh completely flips out when he hears that one. "You're talking out of your ass. Columbus and Hitler? You're trivializing the Holocaust. Frankly Ruben, if you've got that kind of covert anti-Semitism, I'd like you to leave my house." Heh. And yeah, I know they're getting more than a little heavy-handed making their point here, but the performances do save the day. I've giggled every single time I've rewound past that "talking out your ass" line.