Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | Grade It Now!
No One Is To Blame

Across town, the women are attending their luncheon seminar. And just to prove that the casting department has just as much a sense of humor as the prop guys, they've cast none other than Roma Maffia to play a speaker who denounces the idea that Italians are always associated with the mob. At one point Roma actually braves Sars's wrath by citing a Princeton University study that claims "74% of Americans associate Italian-Americans with organized crime." At least she didn't claim her and Sars were in bed together at the time. Some lady at a table near the front turns around to stare at the mob wives on that line, and Rosalie angrily flips her off. Heh. I've missed Rosalie. She should get off the Prozac more often. For some unexplainable reason at this point, Michael Imperioli has chosen to make Father RinTinTola of all people the show's mouthpiece as he cites a more recent survey which concluded that most Americans understand that media portrayal of Italians as gangsters is mostly fictional. Way to defend yourself with a strong character there, guys. Of course, he also quickly redeems himself by throwing Strega a shout-out, calling her a "sorceress" and an "imago." I'd make a bug joke here, but I think we all know what happens when I cross Strega. So let's not go there, okay? And besides, the wives clearly share my disdain for the man, as evidenced by their post-seminar conversation on how the good Father seems to be forgetting whose money built his parish. It's so bad that Carmela actually works the show's trademark "Whaddya gonna do?" line twice in two sentences. Flush with the righteous fury of a woman whose husband has just been called a mobster by a man who uses the communion ceremony as foreplay, Mrs. Little Stevie runs off to "cut him a new one."

Which is exactly where we cut to next. "How dare you let [Carmela] suffer humiliation and embarrassment at the hands of an outsider?" she shouts back in Father Tool Time's office. "Unfortunately, because of her husband's high profile in the waste industry, Carmela is the one who bears the brunt of these insults." Heh. I don't know why everyone always bitches about Mrs. Little Stevie's acting. I thought she was quite good here. Her line reading was a bit flat, but then so is the character, and she does work a pretty mean glare on her way out the door. You go, Mrs. Little Stevie! Once she's gone, Father Philanderer just shrugs and returns to his canoli. Heh. My spell-checker really wants that last word to be "canola," which, given the recent scandals, would put a whole new meaning on the scene.

Columbus Park. A group of Native-Americans is staging a fairly rowdy protest, the highlight of which comes when a woman who appears to be the long-lost identical cousin of Marilyn the Quirky Secretary from Northern Exposure yells, "Mussolini was Hitler's bitch!" Things quickly turn ugly when Silvio and crew arrive, and within seconds, a fight breaks out. The cops storm in to calm things down, and Silvio turns out to actually be on a first name basis with them. One even apologizes for the fact that the Indians have a permit that allows them to protest. Meanwhile, Patsy Parisi, and Yet Another Familiar Guy Whose Name I Don't Know have snuck off to the side, where they're attempting to dislodge a hanging Christopher Columbus dummy that's scheduled to be burned in effigy. This quickly leads to those two getting arrested, and then a bottle comes flying out of the crowd and smacks Little Paulie on the back of the head. Artie absolutely cracks me up as he freaks out at the violence and frantically scrambles to lock himself back in the car. Before he makes it, however, some kid creams him in the back of the head with what looks like an orange Slurp-E. Mmmm, Slurp-Es. Silvio rounds his gang up and leads them out of there, but not before Little Paulie has to be taken to the hospital.

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