Diet Tony goes on to make yet another lame twelve-step joke, and Christopher has finally had enough. "Sobriety is hard enough work without having to get mocked for it," he says. And I do kind of see his point. Especially when there are so many other things we could be mocking him for. Like the hair, or the male modeling aspirations, or "Christopher," or the fact that he totally could have reused his famous "dysentery in the ranks" line during Adriana's irritable bowel episode, but didn't. This gets Tony upset, because he can't stand it when other people take things seriously, and he essentially orders Christopher just to down a shot and shut the hell up with "the higher power yammering and the sweets and the key lime pie." What really annoys me about that, however, is that I know I've recapped a scene about key lime pie before, but I can't remember where. It must be one of my shows in Permanent Hiatus, because the search function isn't turning anything up. Except for nine hundred instances of the word "compliment," that is. "I'm sorry," sighs Christopher. "I didn't realize I was being a jerkoff with all that." And then, as he always does, Tony immediately apologizes for crossing the line, and repeatedly tells Christopher that he's doing the right thing. That doesn't stop the teasing, though, because Diet Tony brings up the Humvee, and the "hum job" Christopher must have given the dealer to pay for it. Some witty word-play ensues, and they go from calling Chris "a friend of Bill" to talking about his "bill" as a "beak." Oh yeah, that's right. I forgot to add his nose to the list of things we could be mocking him for. As a fellow super-schnozz, however, I can easily appreciate the fact that nasal humor is the straw that finally deviates Christopher's septum. "You know, that was you he made that joke about," he tells Tony. "The zeppola content." Tony, however, doesn't even bat a lipid-laden eyelash at this revelation, and just rolls right on with the nose jokes. Turning to Diet Tony, Christopher snarks that he could have called him Ichabod Crane, but didn't. That finally (thank God!) manages to shut Diet Tony up, and Fat Tony finally brings the scene to a close by raising a toast to the Johnson brothers, "whoever the fuck they were."













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