Cut to Christopher, crying in his car on the way home. Oh, yeah. That one's definitely going on the mock list.
Bada Bing. Wide Guy is ostensibly watching the strippers dance, but then we cut to a reverse angle and see that Bouncer Bob is right in his line of sight. Aww. That's quite possibly the cutest potential couple I've ever seen. If this show ever does a spin-off, it should totally be about those two moving to Key West and opening a male strip club together. Tony and Diet Tony arrive with bags of fruit and vegetables in hand, and gush that Uncle Pat's farm is like "a whole different world" where "the bullshit really falls away." Oh, the irony. Oh, the humanity. Tony barely even manages to get himself seated on a bar stool before he's bitching about Al-Qaeda again, and I'd just like to take a moment to thank the Lord that I'm not Diet Tony, because I don't even want to think about what the discussion might have been like in their car on the way home. Reflecting this show's ever-increasing interest in the upcoming elections, Paulie makes a crack about the current administration being too busy handing out non-competitive building contracts to devote much attention to port security. Remember that later when he says he doesn't like to talk about politics. "The only thing between our homes and Port Newark is a chain-link fence," argues Tony. "If they get a nuclear bomb in a container, we're fucking dead." Yeah. Because Al-Qaeda's overriding goal has always been the complete and utter destruction of Newark, New Jersey. Dude, even I would join up if that's what they were really after. "That's why you gotta live for today," quips Bouncer Bob, who really ought to know better by now. Heh. And here I thought the love taps Tony gave him a few weeks ago were going represent his only beating for the season. Boy, was I wrong. Tony beans him right in the eye with a shot glass, and then practically leaps over the bar to start pounding on him with the cash register. And there's your money shot for the week, by the way, because all the bills in the tray go flying into the air. The whole crew just exchanges weary "been there, done that" looks as they slowly move to pull Tony off his helpless victim, and Silvio is forced to try to calm the other patrons without the benefit of a megaphone this time.