"I'll tell you one thing," adds Christopher. "I need Tony B. up there like I need a third nut." Dude, if Adriana keeps walking around in those skimpy outfits, you might actually need the third nut, so I'd be careful if I were you. "So much resentment..." Adriana observes, which launches Christopher into a lengthy tale about how Fat Tony and Diet Tony tied him to a tree up at the farm one year, and left him out in the woods until 3 in the morning. "I worshipped these two guys," he explains. "Tony Soprano especially. When he was by himself, he used to push me on my Big Wheels, teach me curse words. When he was by himself." Which is also part of our theme for the evening, because everybody gets along just fine one-on-one this week, but as soon as anyone extra is added into the equation, things get out of hand. Christopher brings us back to the present by asking for the "Tinactin," which makes me wonder who had to go out and solicit that particular product-placement, and also why Barney's didn't just offer him some mentholated socks to cure the problem. Adriana contemplates his ranting for a moment, and then rather tenderly suggests that they just pick up and move to somewhere "far away." She also thinks he could go back to writing, or maybe even become -- I kid you not -- a male model. Christopher: "I'll get back to the writing some day. But from a position of great wealth. As far as male modeling, I'd probably be a success, but I don't want to be around those fucking people." You know, I recently discussed the possibility of quitting this recapping job with my girlfriend, so that I could finally have Friday nights free, and I think I used almost those exact same words. "I'm a soldier," explains Christopher. "When are you going to understand that?" I think I said that line too, only I substituted "dork" for "soldier."
Episode Report CardAaron: C- | 580 USERS: C+
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