Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | 1342 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Cold Stones

Tony returns to his conversation with Sil, who thinks that people are going to expect a response to Vito getting whacked. Tony is concerned because "Joe Bananas went after Carlo Gambino; made guys got killed; the war went seven years." Tony, ever the businessman, points out that if the guys are distracted by a war, they won't be out earning. Sil asks what Tony thinks they should do. Tony points out that Phil only cares about money, and asks whether Phil still has "that wire room in Sheepshead Bay." And I'm going to assume that will pay off later, because that's the last we hear about this wire room in the episode.

AJ sits looking at his laptop in his room wearing his underwear, IMing with someone and giggling. He looks more like a child than a young man. Tony witnesses this and looks disgusted.

In Paris, Rosalie flirts with a French dude. Carmela asks with annoyance whether she's about done. Rosalie gets the guy's number before he takes off on his motorcycle. Inside the museum, Rosalie can't stop talking about her new friend. Carmela can't believe Rosalie is actually going to go out with the guy, who's twenty-six-years-old. I would be more worried about going out in a strange city with a complete stranger, but maybe I'm a worrywart. They come across a lovely necklace from 1350 AD, and Carmela comments that a woman just like them probably wore it. Yeah, she probably bought it with cash from her "Louie Vittoon" wallet.

Carmela and Ro visit the ruins of some ancient baths. They walk around and notice that the ruins are sitting right next to a busy Parisian street. Carmela marvels over the age of the city, and how many people have lived there. This leads Carmela to think about the night in the hospital when Tony asked, "Who am I? Where am I going?" Carmela feels like the visit to Paris has made her question her own life. As Rosalie digs out her camera, Carmela starts crying and says that she feels insignificant and like her life doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Rosalie hugs her and hums a song to cheer her up.

Phil and his wife visit Marie in her home. Marie doesn't believe that Vito was really gay, but Mrs. Phil assures her that bad things happen to gay people, since they troll for sex partners in truck stops and whatnot. For people who disagree with the gay lifestyle, Phil and his wife seem to know a lot about the way gay people behave. Phil urges Marie not to dwell on what happened, but he's distracted by another relative watching some sort of bodybuilding competition on TV. Hee! Here's Phil, telling Marie not to dwell on the gayness of her husband, and this dude is watching naked oily men posing in Speedos. Phil makes the guy turn it off. Marie says that family members are shunning her, and Mrs. Phil decides to remind Marie that homosexuality is a sin, and that the Church is clear on that. Mrs. Phil came to visit anyway, since the Bible says that they're supposed to hate the sin and love the sinner. Okay, but Marie's not the sinner here. And Phil has a funny way of showing his love to Vito. Marie wishes that she were dead, and Phil offers to make the funeral arrangements for Vito, since Marie clearly isn't capable. Marie sobs and says, "He was a good man, wasn't he, Phil?" Phil agrees that Vito was, and Phil "loved him like a brother-in-law." Heh. Yes, most people dearly love their brothers-in-law. Mrs. Phil starts sobbing and says out of nowhere that she's crying over her tailor, who's going blind. Whuh? I guess we're supposed to think that she either knows what Phil did, or she's completely self-absorbed. Or both. Phil suggests to Marie that her kids may be better off not having Vito as a role model. Well, that's sensitive.

Sopranos

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