Sopranos
Cold Stones

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | 1 USERS: A+
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Cold Stones

Tony arrives home to find Carmela yelling at AJ. She explains that she went to Blockbuster to rent Cinderella Man (which is exactly the movie Carmela would rent right now, so nice detail, writers) and found out that AJ was fired three weeks ago and has been lying to them about working. Tony wonders how you get fired from Blockbuster, since "they got rhesus monkeys working as managers over there." Carmela explains that AJ and his friend were taking promotional items from the store and selling them. I have a hard time believing that's the only thing AJ did wrong because (a) I've worked retail and it takes more than that to get fired; and (b) it's AJ, and I know he fucked up a lot more than that. AJ bitches that the stuff was just thrown out anyway, and then snaps, "Well, maybe I care about the environment. Did that ever occur to you? Wallace & Gromit? I mean, that weighed like fifty pounds! How many trees gave their lives for that." Wow. Just, wow. I had the occasion to hang out with a nineteen-year-old recently, and no offense to the nineteen-year-olds out there, but it's astounding how well the writers have captured the jackassitude of that age. I was a jackass at nineteen, and probably so were you, and so is AJ. Carmela and Tony just stare in amazement as AJ complains that he was trying to think like a businessman. So is he an environmentalist or a businessman? Tony thinks that AJ deserved to get canned for his poor attendance. Carmela thinks the worst part is that AJ doesn't even care. AJ calls Blockbuster "a bunch of religious fanatics," and then adds that they don't pay him a living wage. Tony laughs right out loud at that one, and Carmela serves as the voice of the viewer: "Why not? You live at home! We feed you!" AJ wonders why his parents get to have a social life and he doesn't. Maybe because it's their money? Well, Tony's money anyway. AJ informs them that it costs $500 for a bottle of Cristal in a club, and it's usually a two-bottle minimum. Carmela is somehow not too sympathetic toward the cost of clubbing in the city. AJ tries to backpedal, and Tony seizes on another opportunity to criticize AJ's stupid friend Hernan. Carmela can't take it anymore and stomps out of the room. AJ yells at her that he's been looking for a new job online, every day. Yeah, those minimum-wage retail jobs are so hard to come by. Then again, since all AJ has on his resume is "fired from Blockbuster," I guess he might have trouble getting hired. But then again, his last name is Soprano, so that has to pull some weight somewhere. AJ complains about Carmela to Tony, who counters that AJ should kiss his mother's feet, because she's the only thing that kept Tony from punching AJ in the mouth on several occasions. AJ scoffs like he's heard this before and doesn't buy it. As soon as Tony leaves, AJ flips him off. God, what a douchebag.

That night in bed, Carmela can't sleep. She turns on the light, and Tony wakes up, so she takes that as a license to start bitching about AJ and the fact that he has a "dead streak" that chills her to the bone. Tony thinks that AJ's just spoiled. Carmela points out that AJ had lots of friends with money, and they're all in Ivy League universities now. Maybe AJ's just not very smart? Carm reminds Tony how AJ said God was dead on his confirmation day. Tony tries to get Carm to hush up so he can go back to sleep, but there's a knock at their bedroom door. Meadow comes in, saying that she saw their light on. She sits at the foot of the bed, and tells her parents that she's going to California and she doesn't know how long. She explains that Finn took a year off so he could be there for her when Tony was hospitalized, but now he's going back to dental school and she wants to be with him. Carmela thought she and Finn were having problems. Hey, me too! Meadow gets all defensive, which makes me wonder whether she ever talked about it with Carmela, or if Tony spilled the beans. Meadow says that she doesn't know whether she wants to go to law school or medical school. AJ listens in from the hallway and looks disappointed. Carmela points out that Meadow has "a high class problem." Meadow says that Finn's dad can get her a lab job, which would look great on a medical school application. Carmela is kind of pissed that Meadow is following a man around. She adds that Meadow is dropping a bomb on them and they might need some time to adjust. Meadow says that she had to make plane reservations. Carm asks Meadow whether she will be home for Christmas, and Meadow says that she doesn't know. She kisses each of her parents good night. Carmela stares forward, looking stunned. Tony just snuggles into his pillow and tries to go back to sleep.

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Sopranos

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