Sopranos
Cold Stones

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Kim: A | 1 USERS: A+
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Cold Stones

Tony, meanwhile, is driving a car and possibly having an anxiety attack or a heart attack. Or getting a blowjob. Turns out it's that last thing, and the giver is the blonde stripper he was admiring earlier at the Bing. Tony enjoys both the action as well as "Back in Black" playing on the car stereo. The stripper finishes up and wipes her mouth on a tissue. Tony pulls into her driveway, and she thanks him for the ride. He reaches into his pocket and hands her some cash, which she says he doesn't need to do, but she also doesn't hesitate to take the cash. She kisses Tony on the cheek, and I thought she was going to go for the lips, which Tony would dodge for a variety of reasons. Vito calls, wanting to know whether Tony is going to accept his offer. Tony says that they need to meet to discuss the terms, and sets up a meeting at the mall the next day, knowing full well he's going to send Carlo in his place.

Vito pulls into his motel and walks into his room. For a marked man, he doesn't take many precautions, and that pays off when two guys attack him as soon as he walks through the door. One of them duct tapes Vito's mouth, and then Vito looks over to the closet, where the accordion-style doors slowly open, and Phil Leotardo steps out. Oh, my God, that was awesome. Such drama! Maybe Phil is secretly gay. I mean he is, literally, in the closet. Anyway, Vito begs for his life using only his eyes as Phil walks toward him. Phil sits on the bed, and tells Vito that he's a disgrace. Vito whimpers and whines, and Phil gives the okay to his goons to beat the crap out of Vito with pool cues. So they do. And Phil watches closely, like he's really enjoying this.

Carmela spots a neon sign of a pig, and takes a photo, probably to share with Tony since it kind of looks like the Satriale's sign.

Speaking of Satriale's, the guys are hanging out there, eating and listening to Murmur tell a really stupid joke. Bobby Bacala walks in and announces that Vito was found beaten to death in a motel in Fort Lee. And not only is Vito dead, but he was found with a pool cue rammed up his ass. Wow, am I glad they didn't show that. Because you know what? I get it. I get it that these guys are brutal and animalistic, and it seems like we get reminded of that every season, but for me, hearing Phil go on how horrible gay people are in general, actually makes me think less of him than seeing him ram a pool cue up someone's ass. Maybe that's just me. The guys all silently absorb the news, until Christopher says that he can't believe the balls on Phil to do this. Carlo walks in and says that "you have to admire [Phil] – it's not all talk with him." Whoa. I'm surprised Tony didn't punch him for that one. Carlo sees the look on Tony's face and backpedals that Phil saved them all a lot of trouble. Tony leans back and delivers the official word on Vito's death: even though Phil killed a made guy, which would normally be cause for retaliation, Phil was suffering from family shame, and they were planning on killing Vito anyway. Plus, Phil won't brag on it, since he knows he's not supposed to kill made guys. The guys kind of look around like, "Is he buying this? Because I'm not buying this." Tony leaves, and Patsy says that he wishes he borrowed money from Vito. The guy from the supermarket who actually did borrow money from Vito smiles to himself.

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Sopranos

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