Cold Stones

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | 1 USERS: A+
Cold Stones

Phil and his wife visit Marie in her home. Marie doesn't believe that Vito was really gay, but Mrs. Phil assures her that bad things happen to gay people, since they troll for sex partners in truck stops and whatnot. For people who disagree with the gay lifestyle, Phil and his wife seem to know a lot about the way gay people behave. Phil urges Marie not to dwell on what happened, but he's distracted by another relative watching some sort of bodybuilding competition on TV. Hee! Here's Phil, telling Marie not to dwell on the gayness of her husband, and this dude is watching naked oily men posing in Speedos. Phil makes the guy turn it off. Marie says that family members are shunning her, and Mrs. Phil decides to remind Marie that homosexuality is a sin, and that the Church is clear on that. Mrs. Phil came to visit anyway, since the Bible says that they're supposed to hate the sin and love the sinner. Okay, but Marie's not the sinner here. And Phil has a funny way of showing his love to Vito. Marie wishes that she were dead, and Phil offers to make the funeral arrangements for Vito, since Marie clearly isn't capable. Marie sobs and says, "He was a good man, wasn't he, Phil?" Phil agrees that Vito was, and Phil "loved him like a brother-in-law." Heh. Yes, most people dearly love their brothers-in-law. Mrs. Phil starts sobbing and says out of nowhere that she's crying over her tailor, who's going blind. Whuh? I guess we're supposed to think that she either knows what Phil did, or she's completely self-absorbed. Or both. Phil suggests to Marie that her kids may be better off not having Vito as a role model. Well, that's sensitive.

Tony visits Melfi and sits in silence for a long time. Melfi finally asks how things are going, now that Tony and AJ are alone in the house together. She wonders how Tony feels about Carmela taking a trip without him, but Tony doesn't want to talk about it. Melfi asks what he would like to discuss, but Tony doesn't offer anything up. After a while, he blurts out, "How about the fact that I hate my fucking son? I come home, and he's sitting on the computer in his fucking underwear, wasting his time in some chitchat room, going back and forth with some other jerkoff, giggling like a little schoolgirl. I wanna fucking smash his fucking face in. My son. What do you think about that?" Melfi thinks that this has been coming for a while. Tony thinks his father would find it hilarious that AJ is such a little pansy. Tony adds that if Carmela had let him kick AJ's ass, like his own father did to him, AJ might have grown up okay. Melfi: "He might have also grown up taking out his anger at his father's brutality towards him on others. He might have grown up with a desperate need to dominate and control. Anthony, we've been dancing around this for years, how you live. What is it you want from your life?" Tony looks confused, but changes the subject and complains how small AJ is in stature, blaming Carmela's family. Damn, I really wanted to hear his answer to Melfi's question. I love it when Melfi gets fed up and reveals what she really thinks about Tony. Melfi concludes, "What you resent Carmela doing for AJ, protecting him from his father, is the very thing you had often wished your mother had done for you." Bam! Take that, Tony!

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