Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 6 USERS: A-

Church bells again. Tony on the sidewalk with a cigar. A police car rolls past; he eyes it. Then he realizes that the bell is tolling midnight, and he jogs to the Town Car.

A garage. The guy on duty greets Petrulio and asks him if he's giving away any cheese this year. Who in the what now? Anyway, Petrulio -- whom the guy knows as "Fred" -- wants to know if anyone has come down to the garage looking for him or asking any questions about him, and when the guy asks if there's a problem, "Fred" lies that no, some guy hit him on the lake while boating and wants to pin the blame on him. The guy offers to call "Fred" if anyone turns up, and "Fred" hustles out to his car and puts a folded paper over the gun-with-silencer on the front seat.

Tony pulls up to the motel payphone and looks through the phone book, stopping on an ad for Peter's Hardware on Marzulli Street.

Cut to the bar, where we see Meadow in the background, chugging something. In the foreground, Petrulio walks in and looks around.

Back at the payphone, Tony finds an ad in the phone book that reads, "PETERS' TRAVEL...ASK FOR FRED." He drops the phone book and leaves.

In the bar, the bartender tells Petrulio, "No one was asking for you, Fred." Petrulio starts to walk away, then pauses in thought.

Tony walks through a fog lit by his headlights up to the front door of Peters' Travel and peers inside. The office isn't anything much: computer, Italy poster, wood paneling. He walks over to a window and looks through, and something inside gives him pause -- a fake-bronze bust of Ronald Reagan. I guess the chit-chat about the Sinatra bust had a point after all, because this confirms for Tony that he's found the right guy; the camera pans down to show the collagened-looking lips on the Reagan bust, and Tony grins.

At the motel, the lights go out in the office; Petrulio steps into the frame in profile, and we see a maid entering one of the rooms. Petrulio sneaks over to her cart and snags her clipboard, and he sees the Sopranos' names on the room chart. His face freezes.

Remains Of The Day. Anthony Hopkins tells Emma Thompson to leave him alone, and she wants him to show her his book, she's invading his privacy, blah blah blah we-get-it-cakes. On the couch, Father Phil (whose clerical collar is all hanging out of his shirt) and Carmela have broken out the white wine, and they sit beside each other, enraptured by the movie. Emma Thompson slowly wrenches the book out of a transfixed Anthony Hopkins's hands, and as the music on the soundtrack gets more intense, Carmela blurts out tearfully, "Oh, Father, turn it off, I can't handle it." He asks what's wrong, and she wails that she's a terrible person and begins sobbing. He tells her she's "a wonderful woman," but she cries that it's "been building in her" and she needs to get it out, and she blubbers. Father Phil: "Carmela, if I can help -- please." "How?" she asks, turning to face him. He fixes her with The Look. Ew. He manages to save the situation by asking how long she's gone without confessing; when she stammers in response, he says softly, "If you like, I can do this with you." Ew. Sorry, but Father Phil looks exactly like this arrogant, annoying homunculus I used to work with, and his blatant crush on Carmela really squicks me out for that reason. "You, you mean right here, Father, now?" Carmela stutters, and Father Phil suaves that "the whole world is God's house; he hears and sees everything." Yeah, including the fact that you have gotten drunk in a married parishioner's house and started having impure thoughts about her. Father Phil nods, then turns his back and takes out his mini-vestment and puts it on, and Carmela goes into confession mode and says it's four weeks since her last confession, but stops herself to admit that that's a lie: "I haven't truly confessed in -- twenty years." "Go on," he prompts her, and after a silence, she does: "I have forsaken...what is right...for what is easy." Shot of Father Phil looking vaguely nauseated. Carmela, crying again: "Allowing what I know is evil in my house...allowing my children, oh my God, my sweet children, to be a part of it, because I wanted things for them -- wanted a better life, good schools, I wanted this house, wanted money in my hands, money to buy anything I ever wanted. [sobs] I'm so ashamed." Father Phil listens, brow furrowed; it doesn't seem like any of this comes as a surprise to him. Carmela goes on to say that she thinks her husband "has committed horrible acts," and she says that Father Phil "know[s] all about him," and she's "the same, I've said nothing, I've done nothing about it -- I've got a bad feeling that it's just a matter of time before God compensates me with outrage for my sins."

In the front seat of his car, Petrulio loads the gun. Tony's Town Car pulls in at the motel, and he gets out; Petrulio gets out also. The next shot is Tony hauling an extremely drunk Meadow out of the front seat. She moans weakly, and Tony says, "Whoa -- tequila breath." Bwa! Meadow moans that she's "sorry, Dad," and Tony says it's okay, but she shouldn't throw up on her dress or he'll have to tell Carmela everything. Aw. Petrulio, following them, freezes as we hear Meadow say that some guy gave her tequila shooters and everything is spinning, and she asks if Tony's mad, and he says, "A little bit," and then a middle-aged couple materializes in front of another motel room, bickering over who has the keys, and Petrulio stands with the gun raised but doesn't fire, and his eyes flick back and forth between the Sopranos and the couple, and Tony lets Meadow into her room and slams the door, and Petrulio puts the gun down and walks away.

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