Sopranos
College

Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 7 USERS: A-
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College

Cut to Father Phil telling Carmela, who's slumped over on a pillow, that she "must truly repent, genuinely and honestly, and in the future you must renounce all these actions, and then God will absolve you." "I don't know, Father -- I'll try," Carmela weeps, "but I still love him -- I still believe he can be a good man." Father Phil tells her that, if she helps Tony change into a better man, she will have done good in God's eyes. Carmela ponders this. Father Phil thinks she should take communion. "Yeah," she sighs.

Tony kisses a passed-out Meadow goodnight.

A close-up of Father Phil's portable communion briefcase. Carmela asks why he has it with him; he says had to say a mass for someone in intensive care earlier that evening. They exchange a smile. He busts out the body of Christ, and there's an extreme close-up of Carmela's tongue accepting the wafer with the fire roaring away in the background -- you could see individual taste buds, for real. Then he holds up the cup of wine and lowers it to her lips; ditto with the extreme close-up. After she's sipped from it, he chugs the rest of the chalice and then blesses her. Then he kneels down beside her, and they hug for rather a long time. Then they start having sex. Just kidding. They don't really start having sex...YET. Heh. Just kidding again.

Meadow sits up in bed, looking like she's about to blow chunks: "Dad?"

Tony's outside on the phone; Christopher's telling him that he's booked a flight to Boston the next day at four o'clock. "Don't come," Tony tells him, but Christopher blows that off and says he'll make sure Tony and Meadow have left the state before "anything happens"; Tony warns him, "This is my thing." Christopher goes into his per-usual overly romanticized blather about soldiers and duty, and Tony tells him again not to come, that he'll deal with it himself. Christopher says that killing a rat would put him "a cunt-hair away from being made." Very evocative, Christopher. And disgusting. Tony repeats the order for Christopher to stay in Jersey, saying that Petrulio might have recognized him and "could lam at any time," and just then he spots Meadow staggering out of her room and tells Christopher again, "Stay put, end of discussion," and he hangs up. Meadow asks why he's using the payphone again, and he lies that the walls "are like paper, I didn't want to wake you up," and Meadow tells him not to lie to her, and he herds her back inside as she says that lying down made her throw up.

Casa Soprano. Father Phil and Carmela sit on the floor; she's asleep with her head on his shoulder, and he has an arm around her, stroking her hair. The phone starts ringing, and Carmela comes to and clambers over Father Phil to answer it. It's AJ; he wants to sleep over at Jason's, and Carmela says okay. She looks like she's got a nasty taste in her mouth as she hitches back over to Father Phil and sits right beside him again; he puts his arm around her again, and she tells him that AJ's sleeping over. "I see," he says, giving her The Look again. Their faces get almost imperceptibly closer. Carmela makes pre-kiss small talk -- you know the kind I mean, the meaningless chatter that goes on right before someone finally moves in for the kill -- about the Pucillos. Their faces getting closer still. Then Father Phil groans and puts a hand to his forehead: "Oh." "What?" Carmela says, and Father Phil staggers to his feet and says, "I...oh...I," and makes that about-to-barf blowfish motion with his cheeks, and Carmela asks him if he's all right, and the camera follows him all slanted to the side to indicate drunkenness, and he covers his face with his hands and bounces off of a couple of walls, and the bathroom door slams, and Carmela stands at the door and says, "Father Phil? Are you all right?" Pause. Close-up of the door. Father Phil with the perfect comic timing: "[HOOOAAARRRF!]" Closed captioning: "[Vomiting.]" Heh. Carmela goes back into the living room and rubs her forehead.

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Sopranos

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