And again with the cutting to another continent. Carmela goes to Angie's house. Angie says the lawyer will file divorce papers on Tuesday. Carmela says, "So you're taking Monday to think about it. That's good." "Monday is a Jewish holiday," replies Angie. Heh yet again. And actually, it's not a Jewish holiday, but it is President's Day (for those of us south of the border, at least), and I'm celebrating by writing this recap. Angie feels that "God gave [her] a gift," and she doesn't want to waste the rest of her thankfully-cancer-free life with Pussy. Carmela reminds her that the Church frowns on divorce. "Let the Pope live with him, then." Carmela is really desperate to save this marriage. I wonder if she could be projecting any of her own feelings of insecurity here. Hmmm. "What about the kids?" she asks. Angie reminds her that they're nineteen, twenty, and twenty-four, so they'll probably understand. She wants to know why Carmela is trying so hard. Read the recap, Angie. It knows all.
And of course, we're back in Italy. Paulie strolls along the waterfront. He stops to engage a passerby in conversation, and the only way to do the exchange justice is to transcribe it verbatim:
Paulie: Commendatori. Buongiorno.
Guy: Who are you?
Paulie: [in exaggerated, "talking to someone who doesn't speak English" tones] I'm from America.
Guy: Are you with NATO? You cut our ski lift cable. [walks away]
Okay, so it totally doesn't look funny like that. Just trust me. Especially since what comes next is just so wrong. We cut to Paulie, naked and in bed, the sheet strategically covers his naughty bits, but then he reaches down and starts scratching. I remove the hot poker from my eye socket just in time to see him call out to a hooker he's got with him to bring him a plum. The hooker is too busy putting her make-up back on, so he gets the plum himself. "You got great fruit in this country," he says. That's why it's a Tomato Nation. He calls her back to bed, and before he lets her kiss him, he sprays Binaca in her mouth. Damn, and I was hoping her bad breath would melt his nasty chest hair. He starts babbling about his family history, and she perks up when she hears he's from Ariano (by the way, shout-out?). Turns out she's from there too. Instead of being disgusted at the possibility of having macked with a relative (or the possibility of another incest joke from me) he's delighted to hear it. She just scratches her feet.