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Just like The Godfather, but without the monkey

Who else is excited? March 4th, baby!

We open on a close-up of the FBI warning that appears at the beginning of every videotape. Apparently, there are severe penalties for unauthorized reproduction. I should probably plead the fifth here, but I'm forced to confess that I'm doing this recap from a borrowed tape. Please don't put me in jail. I don't think I'd handle it as well as Richie (that'll be funnier somewhere on page two).

Anyway, the gang is all gathered at the Bada Bing, apparently to watch a movie, since they've got theater-style seats set up in Tony's office. Tony doesn't want to watch whatever it is again, however, and we learn that not only is it The Godfather, but it's the DVD version with "the alternate takes and shit." They can't get the disc to work, though, and as Pussy and Christopher fuss with it, there's some discussion of everyone's favorite scene. Paulie likes the one where Michael realizes Fredo betrayed him, and sets up the episode's ironic tone by asking Tony when he's going to see Uncle Junior again. Get it? Cuz nothing's funnier than family betrayal. Except maybe incest. (What!? Rent Hotel New Hampshire if you don't believe me.). They get off a slam at Paramount for their lousy DVD's, and while such a blatant meta-comment does sort of rip you out of the story, it is true. Paramount DVDs do suck. Anyway, Tony's favorite scene is when Vito goes back to Italy. Not surprisingly, he announces that he's heading over soon as well. Paulie finally gives up on waiting for Christopher to fix the player, and proceeds to give it a "brogan adjustment," by beating it with his shoe. I had to look up "brogan." I hope this doesn't mean Paulie is smarter than I am.

Hey! It's that bridge! Actually, its the same shot of the Brooklyn bridge that every New York-based show uses to remind viewers that it's a New York based show. And in case that wasn't New Yorky enough, we get a voiceover from 1010 WINS: "You give us twenty-two minutes, and we'll give you the world." Give MBTV three pages, and we'll give you The Sopranos. Now we see a pure white-bread family driving across the bridge in their fancy new Mercedes SUV. Dad tries to work the controls, but can't quite master the technological marvel that is the climate control system. Dad also looks a little familiar. I think he's on Yes, Dear, or The Trouble with Crappy Sitcoms, or maybe even Becker, but I'm not really sure. Anyway, they get carjacked by a couple of black guys. As they drive off, we hear the family dog barking in the back. The Black Guys let the dog out and peel away. As the family calls out for the dog, he runs away too. Heh. Dad screams a racial slur that will not be repeated here.

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