Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | Grade It Now!
Just like The Godfather, but without the monkey

A few quick cuts of Carmela spreading the gossip about Angie on the Mob Wives Phone Tree, and then we're back to Italy. Tony and Paulie wander into a banquet hall, presumably at Nino's house. Tony is worried about Christopher, who has the titanium driver Tony brought as a gift, and is nowhere to be found. At the table, Furio sits between Tony and Nino and translates. Nino wants cars. Tony's got 'em. Tony's also upset that Don Vito isn't there. When Furio explains that Nino is angered by this slight, Tony apologizes profusely. He can be very diplomatic when he wants to be. So can Furio, apparently, as he translates, "Tell him to get to the fucking point," as "Nino is happy to be at your disposal."

Tony shows a surprisingly nuanced understanding of the socio-political ramifications of ethnic conflict in the Balkans as he explains his plans to expand the car business. Paulie interrupts to say that the octopus is yummy. "You're like a fucking child, with the food and the pussy," replies Tony, and I wonder just what sort of childhood he really had. Nino wants to talk prices on the cars, and they dicker for a while (which isn't profanity, but sounds like it should be). Before things can get tense, Don Vito is wheeled in. Nino greets him and his beautiful daughter Annalisa. Tony scores points by showing great respect. The writers score points by recreating the scene from The Godfather they referenced in the opening. Vito says something about his wheelchair, and Tony leans in close to hear him. No, it's "Wilshire," as in Boulevard. He follows with "George Washington Bridge." Tony, used to this sort of thing with Livia, smiles indulgently and greets Annalisa. Everyone heads back to their seats, and Paulie, ever a paragon of class and good taste, says, "If you give this guy a golf club, he'll probably try to fuck it."

Quick shot of Christopher and the sidekick, shooting up in a hotel room. Didn't you kids see Traffic? Requiem For A Dream? Heck, they're in Italy, what about Hannibal?

Back at the dinner party, Furio runs down the family tree for Tony. Nino has been in hiding until just recently, and the Real Boss is in jail. Annalisa is also the Real Boss's wife. Meanwhile, Paulie has apparently been banished to the kids' table. He looks at a forkful of spinach with dismay, and calls the waiter over to order "macaroni and gravy." That actually sounds kind of good, but the waiter doesn't understand. One of the Italians translates: "He wants spaghetti and tomato sauce. And you thought the Germans were classless pieces of shit." Maybe he'd prefer a McRib. Alex the Stroh's Dog could pick one up for him on his way back from hitting the local Fashion Bug with Rae Dawn Chong's midget pimp.

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