Episode Report Card
Aaron: B- | Grade It Now!
Just like The Godfather, but without the monkey

Now it's even later, and they're at a restaurant. Extremely phallic close-up of Annalisa chewing on what my crappy, year-old SLP tape seems to indicate are human fingers. I don't think that's right, but the scene would be a lot more interesting if it were, so I'm sticking with it. Tony asks about the toenail clippings. "Why? Do you want them?" she asks flirtatiously. Heh. She explains that it's superstition. If an enemy gets a piece of your body, they can work evil on you. Tony busts out more diplomacy. "Well, thank you for entrusting me with your toenails, but can I pass without ruining the moment?" Turns out she burned them anyway. I'd hate to see what happens when she shaves her legs.

Paulie is dining al fresco. See, I do know some Italian. He looks around, enjoying the ambiance. Spying a couple at the next table, he smiles and says "Commendatori" a few times. They shrug and turn away.

Now Tony and Annalisa are walking on the beach. This is starting to feel like that scene in Naked Gun when Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley go on the date montage that lasts for like six months. No peppy Herman's Hermits music here, though. Instead, Tony laments that you just can't get good help in America anymore. All the guys are rats with no loyalty. Annalisa gets that he's asking for a few of her men, and asks what she gets in return. Tony seems to think that just having a (pardon the pun) toenail hold in America would be reward enough. When he asks for Furio, however, negotiations break down, and with a "Fuck you" and an "Up your ass" they go their separate ways.

Speaking of endless montage sequences, we get one here. First, Angie at home. She tells Pussy that the biopsy was negative, but he ignores her completely and leaves. She cries. Back in Italy, we hear an announcement that the last bus to the volcano is leaving. Cut to Christopher, asleep with a hooker in his hotel room. Now Pussy shows up at Elvis's house. Elvis invites him in, and Pussy thanks him by whacking him in the back of the head with a ball-peen hammer. Blood splatters across a gratuitously placed photo of Colonel Tom Parker, and I get the sense that this episode was written by an Elvis fan with an axe to grind. Or a hammer to swing.

At Annalisa's house, Tony is packing. He tries to get Furio to drive him to the airport, but Furio convinces him to stay for dinner. Tony asks what it's like working for a woman. "What are you gonna do?" replies Furio. I have a funny but somewhat sexist joke about this, but then I remember I work for two women here myself, so I'll just shut up.

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