Denial, Anger, Acceptance

Episode Report Card
Sars: D | 3 USERS: B
Denial, Anger, Acceptance

Tony gets out of the Suburban wearing a bathrobe and huarache sandals and stomps up the stairs to the room above Satriale's. Silvio, eating a sandwich, offers Tony "something to munch on," but Tony ignores him and bitches at a slumped-in-the-corner Ariel that he knows plenty of guys who would feel happy to get rid of their wives. Silvio says he "tried to explain the realities," but Ariel won't give in: "He says it's principle. I think we gotta, you know [making a gun-unholstering gesture] -- that's why we called you." Tony promised the father-in-law he wouldn't, but Silvio says he doesn't know what else to do, that's why he called Tony. "You're a stupid motherfucker, you know that?" Tony gripes at Ariel. "I've heard it said," Ariel mumbles. Tony asks if he's proud of that. Ariel shrugs that, if Tony kills him, a dark cloud will fall over Shlomo's house, and "either way, there'll be no get unless restitution is made." Tony can't believe Ariel would really let Tony kill him. Ariel tells him the story of the Masada, in which "900 Jews held their own against 15,000 Roman soldiers. They chose death before enslavement." He looks up at Tony and says pointedly, "And the Romans? Where are they now?" "You're lookin' at 'em, asshole," Tony says grimly. Paulie nods. Ariel's gaze doesn't waver, and he starts reciting the Twenty-Third Psalm. Tony tells him to "hold that thought" and brushes past Silvio and his sandwich to sit on the stairs and call Hesh. He tells Hesh that he's "tapped out -- this guy won't listen to reason." Hesh says he told Tony not to get involved with "those fanatics." Tony repeats that Ariel is willing to "go down with the ship" and he doesn't know what to do. Hesh says that Ariel might not mind going to the next life, but if he's stuck here on earth, there's one thing no man wants to live without. "What?" Tony says, and then with an evil smile, "Oh." He says it's a brilliant idea. "Make like a mohel, huh?" Hesh says. Tony hangs up and calls up the stairs, "Paulie -- get the bolt cutters from out of the trunk." Then he sing-songs, "Ariel...we're going to Plan B." God, if they go through with Plan B, I really hope they do it off-screen.

At the house, Carmela and Charmaine clean up after the party. Carmela tells Charmaine that "the phone has been ringing all morning" with new social contacts. "Really," Charmaine says, trying to sound happy for her but failing. Carmela says that it's the food that did it, that everyone raved about it; Charmaine smiles tightly as Carmela adds that she couldn't have done it without Charmaine, and having her there "just made it so much fun for" Carmela. Charmaine looks down and says nothing. "Mainie, is something wrong? You got something on your mind or something?" Charmaine dissembles, "What could be wrong?" but she has tears in her voice. Carmela tells her patronizingly that it might not seem that way now, but she and Artie will get back on their feet again soon. "Carmela, I'm fine where I am," Charmaine says defensively, and when Carmela starts to say that that's not what she meant, Charmaine interrupts, "Carmela, I never wanted to tell you this -- it happened so long ago, and you and Tony, you, you weren't even married." When Carmela hears Tony's name, her raised-eyebrow look of expectancy hardens into one of hiding surprise with some effort; Charmaine says that "it's probably silly for me to even bring it up now." "What?" Carmela asks, trying to look unconcerned. Charmaine confesses that one summer, when Carmela went down the shore with her parents "and [she] and Tony were on the outs," Tony called Charmaine. "He did?" Carmela says, still making out like she doesn't find this revelation disturbing, and Charmaine says that one thing led to another, they started dating, and...when Carmela doesn't get the hint from Charmaine's facial contortions, Charmaine just outs with it: "Carmela, I slept with him." Hmm. Gee, why would she bring that up now? Unless, you know, she felt jealous of the Sopranos' money and power and wanted to put Carmela in her place? Oh, right, of course. So anyway, Carmela repeats, "You slept with -- with Tony?" "Really, it wasn't for me," Charmaine says with a dismissive shrug, and as Carmela continues to stare at her, Charmaine tells her, "Carmela, what I'm trying to say -- is stop worrying about me. Really. I mean, we both made our choices, and I'm fine with mine." She turns Carmela's condescending smile back around on her, picks up a box of catering equipment, and leaves with a self-satisfied smirk. Carmela watches her go, still looking like a deer caught in yet another set of her husband's marital-infidelity headlights.

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