Christopher looks out the window, sees a street person, and says, "Holy shit that thing is still alive?" He goes on to say that she was a "piece of ass" fifteen years ago. Jon and Amy beg to hear the seedy story. Christopher enjoys the attention and says in hushed tones, "Wiseguy friend of mine would fucking kill me if he knew I told you." Amy gives a "yummy" look, and Jon gives a "tell me" look and licks his lips. Gross, both of them. As Christopher begins his story, the Muzak dramatically changes to Fleetwood Mac's "Rhiannon," and Jon and Amy sit back and enjoy the ride. "This made guy got the most discriminatin' eye when it comes to T & A. He's at a club one night and this broad's all over him, and she's got a really nice body, she's horny as hell, so they step outside and they walk over to this picnic ground, she starts blowing him next to this swingset." Lovely. Amy sips her Big Gulp coyly, and Jon has a look on his face that worries Miss Parker. Beware of men who visibly enjoy blowjob stories. Christopher goes on, "He's about to shoot his load, he reaches down, you know, starts fingering, undoes her skirt, reaches in, grabs hold of a goddamn prick." Jesus Christ, Jon exclaims. Amy leans over and furrows her brow as if she's puzzling over some sort of conundrum, and says, "Crying Game." "This is a true story," Jon reminds her. Hee. Anyways, the guy in the story wants to "humiliate the freak as much as he was humiliated," so he gets some acid and pours it on her arms, face, and privates. "That's one bad motherfucker," Jon says, with a look of distaste. "That's how good this broad used to look, had this wiseguy completely fooled! She had to get a glass eye." Amy is way too enchanted with this story, and with Christopher, for my taste. Christopher finishes his pizza, and they're in complete ignorant awe.
Pussy inspects a copy of Waste News outside his auto body shop. Tony and AJ, both clad in black, pull up in Carmela's car. Wow, I thought just the side mirror was broken, but he scraped up the entire right side of the car. Eep. Tony's all "say hello to your uncle Pussy," and AJ says "hello Uncle Pussy." Ew, that sounded perverted. "Look what my little friend did to Carmela's car," Tony tells Pussy. Pussy tells AJ he needs to respect the value of things, then sends him off to get a soda. "Longest fuckin' car ride of my life," Tony moans, telling Pussy that AJ used to be happy-go-lucky and now he's moody and questioning the universe. "Like father, like son," retorts Pussy. Tony smacks him playfully and says he's serious. He asks Pussy to do something about it because he's AJ's confirmation sponsor. Pussy agrees, but reminds him that around age thirteen and fourteen kids start "getting broody." I've only heard that term used in reference to chickens. I don't think it means the same thing with humans. Hee. Tony says it's getting so bad he doesn't want to spend time with AJ, and jokes that he can use the belt on him if he wants because he's bombing out in school; he got a C, three Ds, and an F. Pussy asks the returning AJ how he's doing in school. "I got a C, three Ds, and an F," he replies nonchalantly, shoving chips in his mouth. Tony and Pussy make "what are you gonna do?" faces.