So how come I can't drive?" AJ asks. Tony appears out of nowhere -- I guess he's bawling AJ out, too. "Oh, you really want to get into this, huh? Who was that man that we had to pick up from camp last year for bedwettin'?" Okay, that's privileged information, Tony, and it's just plain mean. AJ reminds him that that was the year before last. Back to the subject at hand with slouchy Carmela's shrieking: "You could have killed those girls!" AJ chooses the road less traveled and muses, "Now that would have been interesting." The parentals are all in a tizzy. Hands on hips and "What did you say?" and two, and three, remember to breathe. AJ continues, "Death just shows the ultimate absurdity of life." Carmela has to regain her composure; she turns her back on him while folding her arms and making faces. Tony asks if he's trying to make him lose his temper, because he's about to put him through the window, et cetera. "See? that's what I mean. Life is absurd." AJ is so very Zen, calm and peaceful like a Little Buddha. Tony is shocked, and Carmela freaks out. "Don't say that! God forgive you!" AJ states, "There is no God." Both parents both yell, "Hey!" and look at him like he's a strange mutant fungus. "Where is this coming from?" Carmela hisses. "What, do they teach you this crap at school?" She tries to pin it on the new English teacher and forgets where he's from. Enter Meadow, who chimes in, "Oberlin," and gets a soda out of the fridge. "You want him to read something other than Hustler? Hello! He got assigned The Stranger. You want him to be an educated person? What do you think education is, that you just make more money? This is education." Miss Meadow, Princess of the Unprecedented Wisdom. Tony and Carmela are flabbergasted, hands firmly on their respective hips. AJ just won't let it go: "Do you ever think like, why are we born?" Meadow feeds the fire with "Madame de Stael said in life, one must choose between boredom and suffering." Tony tells her to go to her room. Her face falls and she leaves. "No, I'm serious, why were we born?" AJ asks. The parentals shuffle around and look frightened out of their wits. Mom offers, "We were born because of Adam and Eve, that's why. Now go upstairs and do your math." Nice one, Carm. "Algebra? That's the most boring." Dad tries, "Well the other choice is suffering; you wanna start now? Move your ass!" AJ sighs and looks rightfully disgusted and exasperated. He tried so hard to have an honest-to-goodness conversation here. Parentals lose big time. Pugsley flounces off, Tony looks bewildered, and Carmela screws up her mouth in puzzlement.
Episode Report CardMiss Parker: A+ | 759 USERS: B-
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