Pussy's back porch, which overlooks a cemetery. Creepy. Suited Lipari hands bathrobed Pussy a newspaper. "Jesus Christ, let me think. You wake me up, my head's all cobwebs," Pussy complains. The headline reads "Alleged mob figure victim of bomb blast." Pussy makes like he doesn't know the alleged mob figure's name. Lipari prods him. "Waldemar Wyczchuk. You had lobster fra diavolo with him in Atlantic City on the fourteenth of this month." "He got blown up? Fuck." Pussy puts the paper down. Lipari continues his FBI-speak: "We're not necessarily trying to pin this on Soprano, or anybody in your crew, Sal. We're drawing no conclusions. But whaddaya got for me?" Pussy feebly says some coffee might help him think, but Lipari's not in the mood for half-ass jokes and hedging. Pussy gets frustrated: "What do you want me to say? Philadelphia's been putting pressure on the shy business? That's been going on since Moses wore short pants." Lipari is surprised that Tony is still "resisting the Philly overtures" when Pussy gestures down to Angie putting out the trash. When she moves away, Lipari ultimatums with "Sometimes, Puss, you don't act like a guy that's facing thirty to life for selling H." Pussy's gets all "you're on my turf" and bellows, "Come on, don't get heavy with me. You come to my house 'cause someone's leaning on your ass? Eight o'clock in the morning you come to my house? You know what this looks like? I'm doing all I can to help you guys." A moment is taken, and then Pussy concedes. "One time Tony bought a pool table from Wyczchuk." Pussy turns his back on him and leans on the railing. That's all he's saying for now. Good, because Lipari's got nothing to say as well.
Tony in Melfi's office, and his pants are doing that unfortunate bulge thing again. The bit Larry David did about that bulge on Curb Your Enthusiasm sent Miss Parker into gales of gleeful laughter. The scenario was that a friend of his wife's thought he had an erection, and it was oh so tragically humiliating for him. Hee. Back to our regularly scheduled program. Tony's telling Melfi the saga of AJ asking him if there's no God, why was he born, how he feels that he has no purpose, everything's absurd, existentialist philosophy et cetera. Melfi asks what his response was. "I told him it cost about a hundred and fifty grand to bring him up so far, so if he's got no purpose I want a fuckin' refund," Tony quips. Melfi asks if he's angry about AJ wrecking the car. His response is, "You can't put shit back in the donkey, boys will be boys." That's a vivid picture I'd rather not have in my brain, thank you. Melfi starts in on how normal adolescent angst is and asks him if he went through it. Tony reminds her what kind of people his parents were, and that they never would have stood for that kind of behavior. Melfi asks after Livia. "She's dead to me." Wowsers. That hatred has progressed. Melfi is also taken aback, and appears to not be breathing as she opens her eyes very wide. She asks how AJ's been handling his non-relationship with his grandmother. If she even implies that AJ is having troubles because Tony's deprived him of his grandmother, a certifiably psychotic grandmother who tried to kill his father so now his father understandably doesn't want anything to do with her anymore, I'll scream. Melfi continues to misinterpret and misguide her patient: "How is he supposed to understand that? And in general the whole strain of the current atmosphere in your household." Well, how about saying, "Son, Grandma tried to have me killed after torturing me my entire life with her evil dysfunctional excuse for parenting, and I'm a little miffed with her now, okay?" I think AJ could deal with that if he's dealing with Nietzsche.