Sopranos
D-Girl

Episode Report Card
Miss Parker: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Jon Favreau = yummy with a spoon

Anyways, Jon says, "You're the guy from Jersey, right?" with much prompting and mouthing from Amy of the prefix Jer-. Jon apparently thinks being from Jersey is very cool, because he says "very cool" more than once. Jon Favreau portraying self as very lame in this episode, Exhibit A. Jon points out the director of the movie, because she's from Jersey. Cut to Michelle (or is it a Lori Petty clone?) crouching down and talking to the gals with her black thong underwear hanging out of her cargo pants. Nasty. Jon's all her first picture got the Sundance audience award, and Christopher's all Madon'. Amy adds her wide-eyed pretentious two cents about how it was a hilariously funny lesbian romantic screwball comedy. Did I mention I hate her? Apparently Jon does too, because he cuts her off mid-flow. He tells Christopher what's going on in the scene they're shooting, which entails murder, mayhem, lesbians from Brooklyn, all that good stuff. Amy behaves like an eager chipmunk trying to get a word in edgewise. Christopher realizes who Janeane Garofalo is and exclaims it at the top of his voice. Jon sums up the scene they're shooting for Christopher, and various crew members mill about, shouting movie-speak phrases like "lock it up" and "rolling." Jon puts on a headset and looks into the camera. Sandra Bernhard is covered in fake blood and is putting a silencer on her gun. Amy whispers some bullshit to Christopher about the silencers "underscoring their voiceless place in society." Christopher is awestruck as the scene begins. Janeane's dialogue is about egg creams, and soon Sandra points her gun at Janeane (Zephyr is her character's name, but that's so ludicrous) and says, "It's over, you bitch!" Janeane stops the scene, yelling for the director. Hubbub. People are ripping their headsets off and looking confused and exasperated as Janeane says sorry a million times. They fight over the level of appropriateness and interestingness of the word bitch. Michelle's all "we discussed this, we're losing light," and there's a big discussion over Janeane's character's strength being her passivity here, whereas in the rest of the movie she has "testes to burn." It's all very silly. "Is there anything other than bitch?" Janeane finally asks, after Jon and company bullshit their way into oblivion. "Buchiach," Christopher offers. Everyone looks at him; the stranger with the Dunkin Donuts bag. "Let that one call that one buchiach." Janeane says it sounds more interesting. Christopher reiterates that if she's from Brooklyn, she would say that. Jon asks what it means. "Cunt," Christopher says. Jon says he likes that. Eew. I bet you do, you dirty monkey. Janeane rolls her eyes, like that's much better than bitch, not. Roll sound, roll camera, et cetera. Jon lets Christopher put on his headset and look through the camera. Amy's all proud of herself, but I'm all proud of Christopher. He's growing up so fast.

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Sopranos

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