Tony on the Nordic Track, watching the History Channel. A battleship is sinking as he climbs off the machine, sweaty and out of breath. He towels off and heads upstairs to the den, where he finds AJ doing some government homework. "You know, this is not the end of the world, Ant," he tells him. "I'm depressed," AJ shrugs. Tony corrects him with a chuckle; he's not depressed, he's pissed because he did something stupid and he got grounded and he can't watch TV or use his computer, "and it's gonna stay like that." Heh -- my mother did write this episode. Every time she grounded me, she'd deliver the punishment, and I'd just sit there, afraid to say anything, and she'd say, "Are you just going to sit there?" and I'd shrug and say, "I'm sorry," and she'd sniff, "Yeah -- sorry you GOT CAUGHT," and I always hated her at that moment, because she was right. (Quick sidebar: I tell these stories on my Ma, but she's not Livia or anything. She's great. She's just...a mom. And I love her. I love my non-dead, non-gay mom! Okay, back to the recap.) "It isn't fair," AJ says. "Ya got that right," Tony tells him, pats him on the chest, and goes into the kitchen. Okay, my dad would have said, "Yeah, I heard," or "Well, Sar, life isn't fair," so maybe my mother only consulted on the episode.
Opening bars of "White Rabbit." Aerial shot of Tony putting ice cream in a bowl. He gets a can of Reddi-Wip out of the fridge and shakes it. AJ comes in and asks what he's doing. "What's it look like?" AJ asks if he can have a sundae too. Tony indicates a second bowl: "This one's yours." He tells AJ to get out the sprinkles. Grace Slick tells us again that one pill makes you larger and one pill makes you small. Tony sprays Reddi-Wip straight into AJ's mouth. Grace observes that the ones that Mother gives you don't do anything at all. Tony sprays Reddi-Wip into his own mouth, then some more into AJ's. Okay, it sounds kind of gross, but it's actually a sweet moment between them. No, not like that. Ew. Grace suggests that we ask Alice, and then she's on about chasing rabbits as father and son continue clowning around with the Reddi-Wip. Fade out.