At dinner, Carmela questions Finn about the skiing. The trip sounds impossibly nice, but of course Carmela has to pee in the cornflakes by cautioning the kids to "just be careful, with all those accidents you read about -- Sonny Bono?" Snerk. Then we find out that Alex is descended from Spanish royalty; Colin and Meadow tease her a little about it, and she rolls her eyes but explains that she had a countess for a great-great-grandmother or something. "Which makes you ?" a fascinated Carmela asks. "Technically, I'm an infanta de gracia," Alex explains, embarrassed, and Finn pipes up that that wouldn't fit on Alex's driver's license. Heh. Everyone at the table laughs at that, except for Carmela, who snaps at Meadow through a fake smile, "Well, you might've told me you were living with royalty." Tony jokes that hey, Meadow is an Italian princess: "Does that count?" Meadow beams at him as he adds, "My wife too, for that matter." Carmela gives him an inscrutable look. Finn takes the wheel of the flagging conversation to question AJ about whether he's looking at schools yet; AJ guesses he'll go to Rutgers. With his grades? Not likely. It's a state school, not a day care. Anyway, Meadow asks if he's passing everything, and AJ says proudly that he got a C on his Billy Budd paper. Carmela's shocked, and not in a good way, but Tony points out, "He usually gets Ds and Fs -- what's with you today, you okay?" Dude, Tony -- not in front of company, my man. Carmela says AJ worked hard on it: "Why only a C?" "I don't know," AJ snots, and the roommates look uncomfortable, but Finn saves things again by asking if AJ liked the book. It's okay, AJ says, and adds that his teacher "says it's a gay book." And so it begins, with Carmela gasping, "Who, Mr. Weggler? Oh, that is ridiculous." Finn says that actually, he's heard that before, and Colin and Alex both nod, but Carmela won't hear of it: "That was written when, in the nineteenth century?" AJ pipes up eagerly: "Yeah, I didn't even know they had fags back then." Shut up, AJ. The exchange which follows is priceless, even by this show's standards:
Meadow to AJ: AJ!
Tony to Colin: No offense.
Colin, unconcerned: I'm not gay.
Tony, taken aback: You're not?
Tony: [speculative sideways look at Meadow]
Meadow: [stricken "oh did I forget to mention that my male roommate is straight oops tee hee oh God please don't kill him" look at Tony]