Vesuvio. Adriana seats a couple, and she's looking fantastic in a bright red dress. Clearly, I'm not the only one who thinks so, since Joey Pants and Jackie Jr.'s heads spin on a swivel to follow her ass as it walks by. With the rest of her attached, of course. Joey warns young Jackie Jr. (still with the nickname crisis here, people. When will our long national nightmare be over?) to stay away from the other kid's toys, but Jackie isn't having it. He snots that he wants to go to the "gym," so he can "spar" with a friend, and all of a sudden the Roman décor in the restaurant overwhelms me and I start to believe that I'm actually watching Spartacus. If they hit the hot tub, I'm out of here. Joey Pants asks Jackie if he's got a girlfriend, and when the kid doesn't answer, Pants echoes everything I've thought about this season so far by saying, "You know who's turned into a little mink, though? That Meadow Soprano." I doubt I used the term "mink," but okay. On the other hand, no girlfriend? Likes the gym? Serious maternal issues? Spartacus? I'm not sure Meadow is really the appropriate choice for this guy, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. Jackie backstories that he's known Meadow since they were kids, and then they segue into another backstory-laden conversation: "I know it's tough on you, I'm the guy that's dating your mom," says Joey. "Dating?" asks Jackie. "Don't get fucking filthy about it," replies Joey over my peals of laughter. Can you at least understand why I thought this was gonna be a light-hearted episode? Anyway, Joey Pants tries to patch things up with Jackie, and while he seems pretty sincere about it, Jackie just sits there looking bored. Finally, Joey agrees to take him to the gym.
Episode Report CardAaron: A+ | 693 USERS: B-
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