Artie's house. Tony comes over, looking more than a little disheveled. He's upset that Artie went to Joey instead of him for the money, but Artie explains that he didn't want to impinge on their friendship. "If Melissa had a tumor instead of an overbite -- Madonna Santa, knock on wood," he explains, "you'd be the first place I went to." There's no way I can do justice to the hand gestures Artie makes for "tumor" and "overbite," so just know that they were really funny. Tony asks for details on the business venture, and Artie explains everything we already know, only this time he does it with his pants unzipped. I'm not making that up. He shows Tony a bottle of the stuff, repeats Captain Jacques's "new vodka" line, and then finally manages to button up his trousers. Tony insists on lending him the money, but Artie still says no. "What the fuck am I?" shouts Tony. "A toxic person or something?" He uses that bit of psychiatric jargon several times this week, so just think about how much better it might have been if we'd actually gotten to hear Melfi put it in his head. I'm just saying. Finally Artie caves in, and Tony hands over a wad of cash to get him started. When it comes up later, just remember that this was all Tony's idea. They exchange a manly hug, and then Tony grabs the bottle off the table and stomps out the door.
Outside, he rips the cork off and takes a giant swig straight from the bottle. Oh, Tony. Have we learned nothing from the chicken Vindaloo?