Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A | 917 USERS: B-
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Money for Nothing (And Icelandic Chicks for Free)

Upstairs, Joey Pants is preparing a line of coke in the bathroom when he's interrupted by a knock at the door. After repeatedly trying to convince the person to use the downstairs bathroom, he finally opens the door to reveal Janice. She scampers in, and quickly does a hit of coke herself. They chat about Rosalie for a moment, and Janice actually manages to fully redeem herself in my eyes by quoting from my favorite short story of all time. "Ah, Bartleby. Ah, humanity," she sighs. Damn. Melville jokes are always funny. Back downstairs, Lola is being given the grand tour by a suddenly more lively Rosalie, but we quickly cut back to the bathroom, and before I can even attempt to shield my eyes, Janice and Joey are suddenly making out. Dear God in Heaven, please let his hand not be where I think it is, because, ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew ewwy ew. I'm sure there's a "digital cable" joke I could be making here, but when it comes to watching these two fool around, all I can say is, "I would prefer not to." Down at the table, Tony notices how long they've both been gone (FS2 = 3), and Carmela's father continues to babble about Nova Scotia.

Cut to a strip mall somewhere, which features a restaurant named "Italianissimo," and a pet store with the improbable name "Wild Bird Center." Of course, I got pretty badly burned on "Fountains of Wayne" last season, so far be it from me to complain about over-accurately named business establishments. In the foreground we see Councilman Boon stepping out of his car, and then in the background, Tony emerges from the Wild Bird Center with a dozen bags of duck food. He then walks over to Italianissimo, where he joins Boon for a light snack and a discussion about a potential real-estate deal that could make them both rich. Boon explains that the urban sprawl of New York City is encroaching further and further into the Jersey hinterlands, and that anyone smart enough to buy up property on a "Frelinghuysen Avenue" will likely be rewarded when a new Galleria is built on the site. "I'm borrowing money myself to buy parcels through a shell company," he says. "And a private citizen like yourself? Who's going to quibble with patriotic entrepreneurism?" Well, probably the IRS, for starters, but that's a story for another episode. Speaking of which, who else got the sense that Boon is planning to screw Tony over on this one? FS2 = 4, perhaps? Oh, and only because it's been a topic of much discussion, I can confirm for you that the woman who briefly walks into the restaurant behind them is NOT Gloria Trillo. In fact, it's probably just David Chase's PA, or some other on-set lackey who got roped into providing background filler.

Sopranos

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