For All Debts Public And Private

Episode Report Card
Aaron: A | Grade It Now!
Money for Nothing (And Icelandic Chicks for Free)

Back inside, AJ asks if he can bring a friend to dinner that night, which gives Carmela the perfect opportunity to exposit that Rosalie and Joey Pants will attending as well, just in time for Tony to come in and hear her doing it. He's obviously not pleased about having Pants in his home (though I do note that he is at least wearing a pair in this scene), but Carmela insists that they planned the evening long ago, and that ever since The Little Lord's untimely death, Rosalie has seemed sort of "down."

Actually, she seems more "stoned" than anything else. It's now later, at the actual dinner party, and Rosalie is totally zoned out in her chair as Joey Pants "entertains" the assembled guests with an anecdote about a motorcycle he once owned. After insulting Jews, doctors, and Porsche owners, he finishes with a punch-line that makes only Janice actually laugh. AJ's new friend Matt seems to be interested as well, however, which only makes me miss Egon more. Why hast thou forsaken us, Egon? Janice continues to giggle and fling herself at Joey, and I can't help but notice that a number of people in the forums seem to believe Joey was sitting much closer to Janice than he was to Rosalie. In fact, they're just about equidistant, but Janice and Joey are always shown in a two-shot, whereas Rosalie only ever appears in close-up. This creates the illusion of closeness, and is yet another trick of the trade on display in this episode courtesy of Allen Coulter. At this point Joey excuses himself to go to the bathroom, and the subject turns to Carmela's father's exploits during World War II. "Did you see any action?" inquires Janice. "A little bit," he answers, before adding, "I was stationed in Nova Scotia." Ahh yes, the epic battle of Nova Scotia. That one made Joe Kavalier's Antarctic adventure seem almost tame by comparison. Suddenly, the doorbell rings, and in walk Adriana and Lola, who by the way looks quite fetching in a tank top with a large portion of the area over her breasts cut out. I'm not kidding. I think I see nipple. Adriana explains that she just wants to borrow a plot device for her cousin's baby shower, and Tony joins me in leering at the new girl. Now I'm not the world's most passionate guy, but when I looked a foot below her eyes, I almost fell for my Lola. N-I-P-S, Lola.

Upstairs, Joey Pants is preparing a line of coke in the bathroom when he's interrupted by a knock at the door. After repeatedly trying to convince the person to use the downstairs bathroom, he finally opens the door to reveal Janice. She scampers in, and quickly does a hit of coke herself. They chat about Rosalie for a moment, and Janice actually manages to fully redeem herself in my eyes by quoting from my favorite short story of all time. "Ah, Bartleby. Ah, humanity," she sighs. Damn. Melville jokes are always funny. Back downstairs, Lola is being given the grand tour by a suddenly more lively Rosalie, but we quickly cut back to the bathroom, and before I can even attempt to shield my eyes, Janice and Joey are suddenly making out. Dear God in Heaven, please let his hand not be where I think it is, because, ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew ewwy ew. I'm sure there's a "digital cable" joke I could be making here, but when it comes to watching these two fool around, all I can say is, "I would prefer not to." Down at the table, Tony notices how long they've both been gone (FS2 = 3), and Carmela's father continues to babble about Nova Scotia.

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