Sopranos
Fortunate Son

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B | Grade It Now!
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And onward goes this thing of ours

Christopher, Benny, and Jackie Jr. pull up at the concert hall. Jackie Jr. is the getaway driver, and as Christopher climbs out of the car, Jackie asks him to bring back Jewel's autograph. "You're a good kid," Christopher tells him. "I'll bring you back her panties." Thanks, Chris. That's sweet. Christopher and Benny head inside, pulling on Scream masks. Aww, Munch, how I've missed you. While they're sticking up the hilariously indignant ticket sellers, Jackie Jr. is experiencing anxiety-related bladder control problems. When a security guard stumbles across the robbery in progress, Benny accidentally fires off a shot, but doesn't hit anyone. Chris and Benny run outside and jump into the car with the incontinent (or is it incompetent?) Jackie Jr., and they squeal out of the parking lot. My car incompetence (or is it incontinence?) prevents me from knowing what kind of car Jackie Jr. drives, but I do know that KITT would never have stood for being pissed on like that.

Michael Knight: Man, I wouldn't mind giving that Jewel chick a little turbo-boost, if you know what I mean, and I think that you do.
Michael Imperioli: Oh, yeah. I actually felt bad ripping her off.
Michael Knight: Please. That's nothing. Fucking Napster killed my German record sales. Copyright infringement sucks.
Michael Imperioli: I know. But what are you gonna do?

Another parking lot. Chris pulls up in the Range Rover, and then hops out and joins Paulie in his car. Not only are they both wearing pants, but there aren't even any conspicuously placed logos in the frame. I've never been so happy. Christopher hands over Paulie's money, and explains that he had a late night. Paulie tells him to lay off the coke, but Chris explains about the score with Jackie Jr., and then goes on to complain about how bookmaking is much tougher than he thought it would be. Paulie smiles and tells him, "Welcome to the NFL, rookie."

Welcome to Vesuvio, Paulie. He walks in and joins Tony while apologizing for being late. Tony offers him a smelt, and Paulie wisely declines. He passes over an envelope, telling Tony that they had a "very good week." They discuss Christopher, and Paulie gives him a good review. They agree he's not going to be happy to learn about the strip-search policy for newly made guys, but come to think of it, who would be happy to learn about a strip-search policy? I guess it depends on who's doing the searching. When Paulie mentions the concert heist and Jackie Jr.'s involvement, however, Tony goes ballistic, because he told Chris to keep the kid out of trouble. He immediately whips out the cell phone and dials Christopher's number. Cut to Chris in bed, still dressed in his suit, as both his pager and his phone start ringing. He tries to ignore them, and rolls over, staring off into space. Back at the restaurant, Paulie implores Tony not to be too hard on Christopher. "When is this kid gonna grow up?" Tony asks.

Speaking of growing up, AJ is out on the football field, being singled out for praise by his coach. "This young man may have a bright future ahead of him," says Coach, "He may be a leader someday." AJ blanches a bit, and then Coach announces that he's being named defensive captain. When faced with the same questions about responsibility and fear of failure as Young Tony was thirty years before, his response is exactly the same: he passes out, right onto the field. And onward goes this thing of theirs.

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Sopranos

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