Fortunate Son

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B | Grade It Now!
And onward goes this thing of ours

Inside, Joey is still ranting about Jackie Jr., this time to his mom Rosalie. They all sit down at the table, and Adriana leans over to ask AJ if any of the football cheerleaders are "hotties." He snots that there are no cheerleaders for freshman ball, then storms off in a huff. In the kitchen, Carmela answers the phone thinking it's Jackie Jr., but is delighted to hear from Meadow instead. Despite the fact that she says, "Hi, Meadow" really loudly, AJ still asks, "Who is it?" Remember that later when Dad wants him to go to Harvard. Carmela asks her if she wants to talk to Tony, who's outside. "Burning a cross?" replies Meadow. Heh. Carmela says "I'm not sure I know what you're driving at," and pawns Meadow off on AJ. They have a scintillating conversation about boredom, and then Jackie Jr. beeps through on call waiting and AJ hands the phone off to Rosalie. I keep wanting to refer to Jackie Jr. as "Junior" before realizing that I can't, so I'm open for nickname suggestions, people. There's gotta be a JFK Jr. joke in there somewhere, right? ["How about 'JJ'? 'Dy-no-MITE!' Okay, forget it." -- Sars] Anyway, he tells her he won't be joining them, and when she protests, he says "fuck it" and hangs up. Wow, and we thought Meadow was bad for bitching about laundry last week. Carmela tries to console Rosalie, and mentions that she'll have Tony talk to Jackie Jr. and try to straighten him out.

The week is up, and Christopher heads over to see Paulie. Remember the lunch they had in the premiere? Turns out that's Paulie's apartment. He's sleeping on a cot against the wall when Christopher arrives, and the place does sort of look like it would belong to someone who's spent a lot of time in jail. Which Tony Sirico has in fact done. When Christopher tells him that he's two grand short, Paulie gets angry and declares that "this is unacceptable." Christopher doesn't know what to make of this sudden hostility. "What? Is it the shoes? It's the shoes, right? It's gotta be the shoes." He tells Paulie that he learned a valuable lesson, but Paulie's "not running a school here." He can have another few days to get the money, but it'll cost him an additional two grand as a reminder not to screw up again.

At Vesuvio, Artie serves Tony and Furio. He asks how Carmela is handling the empty nest, and Tony echoes the forums by saying, "What empty? Every five minutes Meadow is home with a laundry bag." They banter about the kids a bit more, and then Jackie Jr. shows up, looking surly in black leather and sunglasses. Adriana apparently hasn't given notice yet, by the way. Furio clears out when he approaches, and Jackie Jr. sits with Tony. There's awkward silence; Jack Jack (?) clearly doesn't want to be there. Tony asks if he wants anything to eat or drink, and then orders him to lose the sunglasses. Jackie Jr. complies, and Tony starts his little speech. "I'm gonna say some bad words here, and you're just going to have to deal with it." He tells Jackie Jr. the story about Richie being a rat in the witness protection program, and swears he didn't kill him. Jackie Jr. takes affront at this suggestion, and starts to make a scene in the middle of the restaurant. Tony sits him down again, and tells him that everyone knows about Richie, and it hurt them all. Jack Jack finally accepts it, and Tony takes the opportunity to warn him off the Mob life. The kid was supposed to become a doctor, but the classes are too hard, and now he's "thinking maybe osteopathy," but doesn't know if his grades are good enough. How good do your grades have to be to give a massage, anyway? "Your father never wanted this life for you, and I don't want it for my son either," he says, and I bet AJ would be pretty glad to hear that.

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