From Where To Eternity

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | Grade It Now!
"Hell is Irish people"

Pussy drives up to a remote location and sits inside a parked car. Lispy Skip says that Pussy is late. Pussy says he thinks Tony knows or suspects. He says Tony's been glancing at him. It's very complicated and deals with eggplant sandwiches, but know that Tony's been glancing at Pussy. Skip says that Pussy's the one that's different now. He's looking at his world with different eyes. Pussy says he knows Tony and can tell that Tony's being different with him. Skip says it doesn't matter. He tells Pussy to do what he does to a girl he wants to fuck. "Make him love you." Pussy goes back to his own car.

Christopher's mom (Joanne) kisses him goodbye, asking what he wants for breakfast. Chris says that she doesn't get up until noon. She says she'll get up early tomorrow and promises to bring him some food. Carmela arrives as Joanne's leaving. They hug. Carmela sits on Christopher's bed (with her copy of Memoirs of a Geisha) and asks if his painkillers are working. Chris admits that they are "pretty fucking good." Carm says that when his heart stopped, she walked down to an empty room and prayed to Jesus to spare him. She says she asked for Christ to grant him vision. "Yeah, so?" Chris asks. Carmela says that he was spared, and he saw something that none of them have ever seen. She smiles and asks what Jesus said to him. Christopher says he didn't see Jesus. Carmela says that Tony said he saw Jesus, and that Jesus took him up to Heaven to see his father and then told him that it wasn't his time. Christopher says he was in Hell, and that he was told he was going to go there when it was his time. Carmela thinks for a second and then tells Christopher that he has to use this experience as an opportunity to repent. "To start to walk in the light of the Lord." She says Chris was blessed with a second chance. She says she's going to pray every day from now on for him. "It is not too late for you, Christopher. If you pray. Will you pray?" Christopher nods, and they pray together. Christopher hits his morphine drip.

Soprano house. Tony asks Carmela how Christopher was. She says he was fine. "Same." She asks if there's any news. Tony says no. They just sort of stand next to each other for a while, as she goes through mail and he looks at her. He asks if they're not talking now. Carm says she's said what she had to say, and if he isn't going to be honest with her, he could at least have the balls to be honest with himself. Tony says he's got balls and he'd like to keep them intact. Carm says he needs to settle all of that with himself and God. Tony says that Carmela's relationship with God only happens when it suits her. AJ walks into the kitchen and goes to the fridge. Tony pulls Carmela into the living room to continue the conversation. He says that the Pope doesn't believe in condoms, but she wants him to "get snipped." He asks if that's hypocritical. Carmela says she was thinking of her family first. Tony says that his genitals are God's creation, and asks if it's a sin to undo God's work. Carmela counters, "Well you should know, you made a living off of it." Tony and Carmela square off. I find it a credit to the writers and actors that you never actually fear for Carmela's safety, even when Tony's looking at her like he looks at Richie Aprile. "You're un-fucking-believable, you know that?" Tony asks. There's a crash from the kitchen that breaks up their argument. It's AJ, and he's broken a plate while fixing himself some food. Tony starts yelling at him immediately, saying that AJ just had dinner an hour ago. "What the fuck are you doing to yourself?" Carmela asks Tony to leave AJ alone. "I'm supposed to get a vasectomy when this is my male heir? Look at him." Tony walks off as Carmela screams for him to come back and apologize to AJ. AJ looks down, ashamed.

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