From Where To Eternity

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A | Grade It Now!
"Hell is Irish people"

Church. Paulie tells the priest he's been donating to the parish for twenty years and now this psychic tells him he's haunted by ghouls. The minister says that Paulie shouldn't have been dabbling in witchcraft and Satanism anyway; it's unsanctioned by the church. He says that psychics are thieves and that Paulie's problems are a spiritual matter. Paulie says that his donations to the church should have been insurance against things like this, and that he's been helping the church for years. He's trying to negotiate his sins using the money he's put into the church. The minister says that none of this would have happened if Paulie had come to him first. Paulie says the church has left him unprotected, and he's never going to give another dime. He walks off.

Paulie walks through the church and stops at a figure of Jesus. He stares it down and then leaves. The door slams.

Tony and Pussy are eating celebratory steaks. Tony tells a joke about a rich man and a poor man. The poor man gives his wife a pair of slippers and a dildo for Christmas. That way, if she don't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself. Laughs and another round of beer. They talk about how, the first time Tony killed someone, they came to that restaurant afterwards. Pussy says it seems like old times. Tony's quiet, eating and glancing. Tony asks Pussy if he believes in God. Pussy says he does, and that God works in mysterious ways. He says that God's been good to him.

Carmela reads her book as Tony walks into the bedroom. He nods and says hello. She stares and says, "Hey." He asks how she's doing. She says she's fine. "You?" Tony nods and takes off his shirt. "Good." "Yeah?" Tony sits down and takes off his shoes. He walks over to the bed and takes off his pants. His back is to her, and Carmela stares at him. She crawls over to him on the bed and starts rubbing his back. She kisses his neck a few times. "I've been thinking," Tony starts. Carmela keeps petting him. "I'll do it," he says. She kisses him and holds his head. "You'll do what?" she asks. "Snip-snip?" She plays with his hair and tells him she doesn't want him to do it. "No, you want me to do it and now I want to do it. So, we'll do it." Carmela keeps snuggling and says she was thinking. "Meadow is leaving soon. I may want to have another baby." She keeps kissing him. "Maybe." Tony looks away and asks, "What are you trying to drive me fucking crazy?" She moves closer to him and keeps cuddling him. "All I want is you," she says. "That's all I have ever wanted. And I want you to be true, and to be mine. I want you to not cheat." Tony says he will be true, but Carmela stops him and asks him to not lie. He asks what he can do. She says she doesn't know. He asks again what he can do. They kiss. "Prove it to me," she says. They keep kissing. They kiss passionately as they fall to the bed, Otis starts wailing, and we see Mr. and Mrs. Soprano make out. It's not something we've seen before, and it feels like the first time you walk in on your parents having sex. Yikes.

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