Sopranos
Sopranos

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A+ | 1049 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Like shooting Pussy in a barrel

Tony's in bed. The closed captioning says "(farting)." If only it was really that discreet. Tony opens his eyes.

Carmela opens the front door. It's Artie, wanting to finalize the menus for Meadow's graduation party. Carm has forgotten about this, and mentions that they were up with Tony being so sick. Artie says the food poisoning couldn't have been from his place, because he got an A rating. Tony hears that Artie's there, and booms for Carm to send Artie up. Carm tells Tony to shut up, that he's speaking nonsense. Tony tells Carm to send him up again, and Artie goes upstairs.

Tony walks to his bed wearing a robe as Artie walks in. Artie says that Tony picked up a bad one somewhere. Tony starts yelling at Artie for poisoning him with tainted shellfish. He says Artie should do something before he causes "a fucking outbreak." Heh. Artie says he handpicks every mussel that went into that soup. Carmela is shocked that Tony ate mussels on top of Indian food. Artie immediately says it had to have been the Indian food that's causing the food poisoning. Tony says it was the mussels, because they came up undigested. Artie says that if the mussels were undigested, they couldn't have caused the food poisoning. Tony says that it was his body shutting down from the poisonous mussels in defense. Artie says that the Indians prepare their food with ghee, which is clarified butter. He says a rancid hit of that would destroy him. He says that when they cremated Indira Gandhi, they covered the body and the funeral pyre in clarified butter to get the fire started. This is too much for Tony, who shoots out of bed and heads straight to the bathroom to puke and fart again. Artie asks if they called Pussy yet, since he had the mussels too. "Jesus, Artie, 'call Pussy,'" Carm says. "Some concern, maybe?" Artie says he's very concerned.

Angie tells Pussy that Artie's on the phone. Pussy gets on the line. Artie asks if Pussy's feeling okay. Tony's head is next to Carmela's lap as Artie tells Pussy that there's nothing to worry about, but he wants to know if Pussy had any symptoms. Pussy admits that he had a slight touch of diarrhea, and there's too much shit talking to make me feel good. I'll never eat again. They keep talking about Indian food and shit until Tony asks them to stop talking about it. I agree. Artie gets off the phone and says he feels vindicated. Tony says he can't get off the boardwalk. Carmela says she's going to call Doctor Cusamano. Tony bolts up to puke again, so Carm and Artie carry Tony over to the bathroom.

Sopranos

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