Sopranos
Funhouse

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Like shooting Pussy in a barrel

We open at Livia's house. Tony is rubbing his face in frustration. Livia and Barbara are at the kitchen table. This meeting concerns where Livia is going to live now that Janice has gone back to Seattle. Barbara's husband won't allow Livia to live with them. Livia moans that Janice was right, that her children aren't grateful. Livia tells Tony that she never conspired with Junior. Barbara asks what's going on, but Tony's not telling her. Livia says she won't go back to the nursing home. Tony says she's right on that one, because they won't take her back at Green Grove. "She was abusive to the staff," he yells at Barbara. Barbara tries to figure out how she could get Livia to live there, and Tony yells at her not to do it. He says if Barbara had a mother with "one shred of gratitude" inside her, then it might be worth it. Livia cries and says, "She's taking a page from your wife's book." Tony screams that her statement is "fucking outrageous," and that Carmela has asked Livia to the house several times. He storms out of the house. Barbara says, "Nice work, Ma. Carmela's been so sweet to you."

Tony goes to his Suburban and opens the passenger seat. He grabs two airline tickets and walks back into the house. He throws them on the table and tells Livia to get on a plane to Arizona to live with Aunt Gemma. He tells her to take Aunt Quin with her, "The other fucking miserab'." "My sister Quintina won't fly," Livia cries. Tony walks out of the house, telling Livia to toss Aunt Quin on the tarmac. Livia keeps crying.

A man is using a pay phone as another man walks up and asks how much he's paying for the call. He explains the concept of calling cards to the man, and offers to sell one with a thousand hours on it for seven dollars.

Indian restaurant. Men talk to pretty girls. We follow a salmon on a plate to Tony eating dinner with Pussy and another guy who I can't figure out but Sars will probably know right here. ["Sundeep Kumar? I think?" -- Sars] The guy hands Tony a package of money, and the three of them toast "to business." Pussy keeps laughing, and Tony keeps watching him out of the corner of his eye as he smokes his cigar.

Vesuvio. Tony picks up Adriana and spins her until he joins Furio and Silvio at their table. He hands Silvio his envelope of cash. Silvio is pleased with the amount, and Tony brags that it's just the first week. Pussy and Tony sit at the table. Tony asks if Patsy's been in. Silvio says he's looking for Tony. Pussy is happy to see the fried zucchini flowers. He takes one off Silvio's plate and eats it. "Hey, help yourself, you fat fuck," Silvio says to him. Tony asks Pussy if they're good. Pussy nods, so Tony grabs Silvio's fork and eats another one. Silvio asks Adriana if she needs to eat off of his plate as well. She smiles, and sets their table. Tony orders another plate of zucchini flowers, and Pussy orders the mussels soup. Adriana leaves. "Telecommunications once again fails to disappoint," Silvio says. Furio asks what they're talking about. Pussy explains the concept of telephone calling cards. He explains that they order a block of the calling cards on credit and become a fake calling card company, and sell them on the street to immigrants who call home often. The carrier gets stiffed and cuts off the cards when they don't pay for the bulk time, but the cards have already been sold, so they've made all of their money. Tony watches Pussy carefully explain the entire operation. Tony knows something is up. Pussy can't seem to keep his mouth shut these days. Furio laughs and says it's "fucking beautiful." Tony changes his mood by calling Artie "Prince Rogaine." Artie brings the food to the table. He tells Tony he got the last zucchini flower. Tony tells Artie to put the zucchini flowers on the menu for Meadow's graduation party. Everyone stops to congratulate Tony on Meadow's success. They tell him that he's lucky and that he's a good father. They toast. Tony says that things are good. "Richie Aprile's in the Bermuda Triangle. All my enemies are smoked." Pussy laughs. Patsy walks in carrying a garment bag. Tony yells at him to take it out to the car and he'll meet him out there. Patsy acts like the bag is no big deal, and Tony yells again for Patsy to wait outside. Patsy leaves.

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Sopranos

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