Sopranos
Funhouse

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A+ | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Like shooting Pussy in a barrel

Tony slams Melfi on her desk. They rip at each other's clothes. The sound plays a different lovemaking scene, with them making noises that we're not seeing. They fuck on the desk.

Cut to Tony's face spinning. He's sweating and trembling. Doctor Cusamano asks off-camera if he's smiling. Carm says he's gritting his teeth. They wake Tony up. Tony tells the doctor that he's dying. The doctor says that Tony's just got a little E. coli, and that he'll live. He tells Carm to give Tony ice chips to suck to keep him hydrated. He says that it probably wasn't the Indian food that did it to him. Carmela says that Meadow's graduation is tomorrow. Tony closes his eyes and smiles. He sings the theme song to Gilligan's Island as Carm and the doctor leave.

"Hey, Ton," we hear Pussy's voice say. Tony stops walking and looks at a row of fish in a fish market. The middle one speaks with Pussy's voice. So brilliant, this scene. "How's it going?" Pussyfish asks Tony. Tony: "You didn't get sick?" Pussyfish: "Nah." Tony: "How much you weigh?" Pussyfish: "Eight pounds." Tony says that Pussyfish has lost a lot of weight. Pussyfish says that he's been swimming. It works every muscle group in your body. Tony tells Pussyfish to get the fuck out of here, that he's never worked a muscle in his life. "Anyway," Pussyfish says, "four dollars a pound." Tony stares for a while until Pussyfish says, "You know I've been working with the government, right, Ton?" Tony tells him not to say that. Pussyfish tells him to face the facts. He says that Tony passed him over for promotion. He knew. Tony asks how much he gave the Feds. "A lot," Pussyfish admits. "Fuck of a way for it all to end, huh?" Tony asks. "Yeah," Pussyfish says. "Yeah," Tony agrees. "These guys, on either side of me?" Pussyfish asks, motioning with his head the two fish surrounding him. "They're asleep." It's so brilliant that the only way to end the scene is to have Tony lift the table of fish and knock it over, which is exactly what he does.

"I don't want to see you flopping around down there!" Tony calls to nobody from the floor of his bathroom. He wakes up. He thinks.

Carm catches Tony getting dressed. She says no way and tells him to get back into bed. Tony says he's feeling a bit better and has to get up. Carm says he's out of his mind; she'd brought him a little something to try to keep down. She says he can't be sick for Meadow's graduation.

Tony and Silvio show up at Pussy's house. Ang asks how he's doing. Tony says something about his poor ass, and asks if Pussy's home. Ang says that he's still in bed, but she'll go get him. Pussy bolts up in his bed, hearing that Tony's in the house, and yells for Angie to give him a minute. Pussy runs to his bureau, where there's a box sitting. Tony opens the door before Pussy can open the box. He tells Tony he looks better than he thought he would. Pussy's nervous and making rapid small talk, asking if Tony or Silvio would like any coffee. Tony says he's got a line on a boat, and he needs Pussy's opinion on it right now; the guy's got two offers, so he has to decide this morning. Tony then says he's going to be sick, and runs into the bathroom. Silvio walks over to Pussy and says he could use some coffee now. Pussy agrees that nobody should have to listen to Tony getting sick.

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Sopranos

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