Sopranos
Guy Walks Into A Psychiatrist's Office

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All In The Family

Downstairs, Tony goes off. He says he deserved an explanation, and proceeds to chase Pussy around the room, smacking him and yelling, "Who's your boss, huh? Who's your fucking boss?" That's exactly what Sars does when we turn in our recaps late. Whoops. There I go again, abusing that jokey shit. Sorry. Pussy finally explains. He was in Puerto Rico getting treatment for his back, and he fell in love with his twenty-six-year-old acupuncturist. I'm betting acupuncturists are really good in bed, since they know where all the pressure points are. Carmela yells down to ask who's there, and when she gets no response, she snots at Tony to bring up two cases of bottled water. Pussy explains further that he came back because he needed the money, what with two kids in college and a third getting married. Finally, Tony caves and they hug. Just as I'm thinking, "Aww, isn't that sweet," I notice Tony getting a little handsy (presumably because he's checking for wires, but if you let your mind run with the possibilities here, it's kinda fun. Gross, but fun). Pussy notices as well, and backs off. He grabs his crotch and asks if Tony wants to pat that down too. Tony shrugs, and offers a real hug. Pussy, who (nickname aside) is clearly the yin to Tony's raging gay yang, accepts, and is welcomed home.

Now we're back upstairs. Tony and Pussy chat with Meadow and Carmela in the background. Pussy asks about Junior, but it's really just an excuse for some fairly transparent exposition about Philly Parisi, Junior's henchman. Tony calls him "Junior's piss boy," and I just know I'm gonna be quoting History of the World for the next two weeks.

Cut to the now fully exposited Philly, as he climbs into his car and drives off. Now cut to JFK (the airport, not the President), where Paulie drives up with a random thug. He tosses a suitcase to Thug #1, and then leaves. Thug #1 enjoys a refreshing cigarette for a few moments, and then Philly pulls up. Thug #1 climbs into the car, and they drive off. "Were you waiting long?" "Just a few minutes." Again, saw it coming, but heh. They chat about Boston, which is where Thug #1 was apparently supposed to be on the lam. Hey, I was born in Boston. Shout-out? Thug #1 describes my birth-place as being "like Scranton with clams." That's a pretty crappy shout-out. Especially since I just had to make a business trip to Scranton. Nice town, but you just can't get good clams there. Thug #1 asks about Tony, and Philly basically recaps the first season. Tony tried to kill his poor, helpless momma, and this after he imprisoned her in a nursing home. Thug #1 warns Philly not to spread rumors like that. Then he waits until Philly pulls over before blowing the Piss Boy's brains all over the front seat. Thug #1 climbs out of the car, holding his ears and grimacing. He climbs into the waiting Paulie's car, and they drive off.

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Sopranos

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