But that's okay, because you're not the only ones. Back at the ranch, or ranch-style dorm room in this case, Meadow and Jackie Jr. finally make with the mack. When he moves to unzip her pants, she pushes him away, and we realize just how drunk and stoned she really is. Little Lord Fuckpants pulls out a condom for Even Littler Lord Fuckpants, but when the brand turns out not to be visible, the show misses out on a golden opportunity to score double bonus points for simultaneously combining a product placement with a safe-sex PSA. It ends up not mattering much, though, because Meadow has passed out. Jackie stares at her unconscious form long enough to get everyone in the audience thinking date-rape, but then he satisfies himself with just an extended glance down Meadow's shirt before leaving. And while that is kind of creepy, I guess we should just be glad he didn't sniff her panties.

Silvio and Tony are sitting in Vesuvio, with Tony bitching about how Joey Pants treated him back at the casino. "He's lucky I didn't put a bullet in the back of his head," says Tony, prompting Silvio to mention that, "on that front, don't be surprised if Paulie pops the question." Paulie wants to marry Joey Pants? Now that would make the show better. Jack and Rosa from Will & Grace would have nothing on those two. And a Paulie/Pants wedding would match up against Monica and Chandler in sweeps way better than Chris and Adriana. Anyway, Silvio and Tony continue to discuss The Pants Predicament, with Silvio opining that since Joey is "a good earner," it's just possible that an apology might be in order. He also worries that Pants might "pull a Jack Ruby" on Tony one day. ["Heh. By the way, thanks, Jack." -- JFK] Tony laments what Joey did to Tracee, to which Silvio responds with a hearty "so what?" Since she wasn't related to Tony, or his goomah, Tony had no grounds to hit Joey the way he did. Silvio suggests giving Joey a piece of the casino, but Tony rejects that idea because they're partnered with New York on that, and he doesn't want Pants anywhere near Sack. You know, one of the things about this show that's simultaneously both great and incredibly annoying is that pretty much every single line of dialogue is relevant to either the plot or the characters. It's great that the writing is so tight, but I feel like I can't skip a single word, or I won't be getting the story across. Silvio finally proposes making Joey a captain, to which Tony responds, "[Joey Pants] a captain? Over my dead body." That line is relevant to tonight's plot as well, although technically, it's not Tony's dead body he gets it over.