Silvio and Tony are sitting in Vesuvio, with Tony bitching about how Joey Pants treated him back at the casino. "He's lucky I didn't put a bullet in the back of his head," says Tony, prompting Silvio to mention that, "on that front, don't be surprised if Paulie pops the question." Paulie wants to marry Joey Pants? Now that would make the show better. Jack and Rosa from Will & Grace would have nothing on those two. And a Paulie/Pants wedding would match up against Monica and Chandler in sweeps way better than Chris and Adriana. Anyway, Silvio and Tony continue to discuss The Pants Predicament, with Silvio opining that since Joey is "a good earner," it's just possible that an apology might be in order. He also worries that Pants might "pull a Jack Ruby" on Tony one day. ["Heh. By the way, thanks, Jack." -- JFK] Tony laments what Joey did to Tracee, to which Silvio responds with a hearty "so what?" Since she wasn't related to Tony, or his goomah, Tony had no grounds to hit Joey the way he did. Silvio suggests giving Joey a piece of the casino, but Tony rejects that idea because they're partnered with New York on that, and he doesn't want Pants anywhere near Sack. You know, one of the things about this show that's simultaneously both great and incredibly annoying is that pretty much every single line of dialogue is relevant to either the plot or the characters. It's great that the writing is so tight, but I feel like I can't skip a single word, or I won't be getting the story across. Silvio finally proposes making Joey a captain, to which Tony responds, "[Joey Pants] a captain? Over my dead body." That line is relevant to tonight's plot as well, although technically, it's not Tony's dead body he gets it over.
Meanwhile, Pants, Wide Guy, and Thin Guy are in a diner somewhere. Thin Guy has traded in his eighties-style black sweater in for an eighties-style black blazer, and now he kind of looks like Sean Penn for some reason. They whine about Tony's treatment of Joey, and all the reasons why you can't hit a made guy. "Rules are rules," says Joey. "Otherwise what? Fucking anarchy." "You think I'm afraid of that fat fuck?" he continues before tossing a quick "no offense" over to Wide Guy, who appears to be quite uncomfortably wedged into the booth. "All this over some dead hoor…" sighs Joey, and it seems that no one in Sopranoland can quite figure out why it's wrong to kill innocent young women. Also, what's up with this week's director's obsession with having extras walk through the foreground? It's happened at least a half dozen times so far, and they're not even using them to cover edits, which is the usual rationale for that sort of blocking. Sorry. Film-geek tangent. Won't happen again. Although maybe that should have been "soory." As still more extras wander past, Joey mentions that he's going over to Tony's for Thanksgiving dinner. "I oughta shove a drumstick up his ass," he says to end the scene. Man, this guy gets all the good lines.
At the Bing, Hesh wanders in with a black preacher whom I don't think we've seen before. Tony greets them warmly, but the preacher is concerned that his parishioners "might not understand that [he's] here to help the hungry." They discuss the various differences between ethnic Thanksgiving foods, and then Christopher shows up with a truckload of hijacked turkeys. If nothing else, recapping this show has certainly afforded me the opportunity to write a great many sentences that have probably never appeared in print anywhere else. You never hear Chaucer say "hijacked turkeys." Well, maybe in "The Miller's Tale." Out back, the guys start loading turkeys into the preacher's car, and Hesh becomes the latest person to provide plot progress by asking Tony about The Pants Predicament. The preacher comes over to thank Tony for his most generous donation of the hijacked turkeys, and we get a reversal shot that shows us they're all standing on the exact spot where Joey Pants killed Tracee a mere two weeks back. After he leaves, Chris brings Tony a hijacked turkey of his own, and Tony is dismayed to remember that Pants will be attending his Thanksgiving dinner.