He Is Risen

Episode Report Card
Aaron: B | Grade It Now!
The Art Of Whore

At Vesuvio, Tony sits alone in an empty restaurant. Well, it's empty except for Paulie and Christopher, who are manning the door, and also Joey Pants, who's made an appearance to apologize. He walks over to Tony's table, but Tony just ignores him, preferring instead to focus on his dinner. Finally, he asks why Joey wanted to see him. In a hushed voice, Joey makes his apology, blaming the whole thing on the coke. His apology sounds pretty sincere, especially since you can see how hard it is for him, but Tony just makes him keep groveling. When Pants finally stumbles to a finish, he waits anxiously for Tony's response, which turns out to be nothing more than "Anything else?" Joey shakes his head docilely, and slowly walks out of the restaurant.

Over at the Aprile crew hangout, which is nowhere near as nice as the Bing, Gigi arrives with a bag full of turkey sandwiches. He immediately hands it to Wide Guy, who claims to still be "bloated from Thanksgiving." "Thanksgiving of 1982," zings Thin Guy, which is coincidentally the same year he purchased much of his wardrobe. Gigi joins the poker game in progress, revealing that the turkey is like "spackle in my bowels. Nothing moves." I'm gonna stick with my Daily News rule that nothing involving the lower gastrointestinal tract can be considered a product-placement and ignore the Metamucil mention here. Gigi quickly rejects the idea of inviting Pants to join them, hoping to just "enjoy the quiet" for a few moments.

Aaron Sorkin: You know what would have made that scene better? If the sandwiches were made from hijacked turkeys.
David Chase: I don't know...
Aaron Sorkin: You don't want more hijacked turkeys?
David Chase: Well…
Aaron Sorkin: Because I think you should have hijacked turkeys.
David Chase: Shut up, Aaron.
Aaron Sorkin: Are you talking to me or the recap guy? Because he definitely needs to shut up.

Sanctum Sackonorium. Johnny watches a news reports about America's newest favorite tourist destination, The Newark Museum of Science & Trucking. His Teamster reverie, however, is interrupted by the arrival of Joey Pants and the incredibly annoying scarf he's wearing. It's pink, checkered, and tied around his neck like a bowtie. I guess it's an Aprile thing, but it's quite distracting. Joey vents at length about the treatment he's received from Tony, again suggesting that the boss is "going down." "What are you, fucking stupid?" asks Sack, and despite the fact that we all already know the answer to that one, he continues, "Coming in here and talking to me like that?" Joey doesn't care, though. "I've given my life to this thing, and this is the thanks I get?" See my notes on appropriate thank-you gifts above.

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