House Arrest

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A+ | Grade It Now!
Best. Line. Ever.

Dick Barone walks into Tony's office. Tony's drawing a chart for a basketball pool for the office. Dick says that they got Richie's driver on video selling three ounces of coke at an arcade. Tony says he talked to Richie. Dick says this was last night. Tony says he'll have to torch a truck. He says he knows Dick doesn't want to hear that, and he sure as shit didn't say it. Tony keeps drawing and tells Dick he's working on the basketball pool. Dick walks out as Tony grabs some Liquid Paper for his chart.

Junior pours himself some tea as the phone rings. It's Livia. Junior tells her not to call him at home. Livia says she wanted to see how he was feeling. He says he's fine. "It's not easy being abandoned, is it?" she asks. She tells him she had a stroke. Junior says he knows. He doesn't live in Oshkosh. Livia says she heard Junior's been keeping company with Catherine Romano. "Oh, she's so sweet," Livia teases. She says that her husband told her Catherine's a slut. She let everyone feel her up back in the day. Junior tells Livia what she doesn't know could fill a book, and hangs up on her.

Junior walks over to Catherine and hands her a cup of tea. Catherine asks if everything is okay. "My brother's wife," Junior explains. "Oh, Livia," Catherine says. "How is she? I heard she wasn't well." "She never was," Junior responds. Catherine says that Livia's life is very sad. Junior talks about the homemade wine they're drinking. He offers to make them some lunch. Catherine says they could just go down to the Friendly's. Junior admits that he's under house arrest. She asks if the lo-jack hurts. "It beeps," he replies. "The choices we make, huh?" she says. Junior says he gets special permission for some things, but mostly he has to stay in the house. He says he understands if she wants to leave. Catherine says she enjoys him. She always did. She tells him to stay there and she'll get some food for them.

Tony's at therapy, bitching about his rash. He says the other day on the History Channel, he learned that the US is the only country where the pursuit of happiness is guaranteed in writing. He asks where his happiness is. Melfi says it's only the pursuit that's guaranteed. Tony says there's always a loophole. He asks what's the matter with her. She says they should talk about him instead. He says it seems like she's on drugs, and he's boring the shit out of himself. Melfi asks if Tony knows why a shark has to keep moving. Tony does. They can't breathe if they stop moving, or they'll die. Melfi says there's a condition called alexithymia, common in certain personalities. "The individual craves almost ceaseless action which enables them to avoid acknowledging the abhorrent things they do." Tony asks what kind of personalities. "Antisocial personalities," Melfi says. Tony says that Richie ran over a guy for no reason, paralyzing him. He asks what happens when these antisocial personalities aren't distracted from the "horrible shit" they do. Melfi says they have time to think about their behavior, how what they do affects other people. "And they crash," she finishes.

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