Sopranos
House Arrest

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Pamie: A+ | Grade It Now!
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Best. Line. Ever.

Melfi's finishing a couple's session by telling the husband and wife: "Remember. One mouth, two ears. Listen to each other." The man and woman walk off unhappily together. Melfi checks her day planner and sees her 2:00 appointment is with "T.S." She walks over to a desk and pulls out a glass and a bottle of vodka, I think. It's a white bottle with a picture of a tree on it. Not white, but like hazy glass. Semi-transparent. Wow. Nobody cares. Sorry. She pours herself a tall glass of booze. She chugs, wipes her mouth, and looks guilty.

It's two. Tony's there. Melfi's boozy. She starts the session: "So, what's up?" Tony says he's bored. He doesn't want to come there anymore. "Wow," Jennifer says. "That's the first time we've heard you say that." They stare at each other for a little while. Tony says this is feeling like a waste of time. Melfi disagrees. Tony says he was watching a movie the other day with Brad Pitt and "that blonde, Gwyneth Paltrow." "Sliding Doors?" Melfi asks. "Fuck no, Seven," Tony responds. Heh. He says it's a good movie, but halfway through, he thought, "This is bullshit." Finding out who the killer is won't make a bit of difference in his life. He shouldn't care who the killer is. So he turned off the television. Melfi congratulates him and asks what he did instead. "Went out in the yard and burned ants with a magnifying glass," he says. Melfi just stares, and Tony asks where's her sense of humor. She continues to stare until Tony asks, "What's the matter? You still in mourning over the coming of managed care?" Melfi flops her hand forward and says, "Go on." Tony says that everything in life is a series of distractions until you die. "I hear depression talking," Melfi says drunkenly. I hear his mother talking, but who asked me. Tony says that he's tired of all the medication. Melfi says that some people take pleasure in the simple doing of things. Tony says he can't do the things he takes pleasure in. He's trying to change his "business profile." Melfi smarms that this is all about his "legal problems." Tony pouts for a while. Melfi sighs.

Junior's getting wheeled out of the hospital. Bobby leaves to get the car. "Corrado? I thought that was you." It's the woman in the wheelchair that was staring at Junior the day before. Her name is Catherine Romano. Junior recognizes her and stands up to greet her. The nurse tells Junior he has to stay in the wheelchair until he leaves the hospital. He tells her to call a cop. Catherine and Junior went to high school together. Catherine points out her son behind her. "Little Chuckie," she calls him. He's a grown man now. Junior smiles and remembers that Chuckie used to ride the bike for the butchers. Chuckie gives Junior a look and says he needs to make a phone call. He walks away. Catherine says that Chuckie is a cop now. "Like his father." A detective. Catherine's husband died of Hodgkin's fifteen years ago. "The week the shuttle exploded," she says. She says the pension and the grandchildren help. She tells Junior he looks good. She asks if he's healthy. He says he's got a little trouble, but nothing much. He sees her foot and asks if she broke her ankle. "Bunions," she says. They chat about where they live. They're still in their same places. She lives by their old school. She says they should have coffee sometime at the nearby IHOP. Junior lies that he's not supposed to leave the house because of "stress." A very large orderly then walks up and menaces Junior back into his wheelchair. Junior slowly sits back down.

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Sopranos

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