House Arrest

Episode Report Card
Pamie: A+ | Grade It Now!
Best. Line. Ever.

Over by a window, Tony asks Richie if he has any blow. Richie plays dumb and laughs. Tony asks if he can only score if he goes to the deli in Nutley. He tells Richie not to sell that shit on his routes. Richie says he's working with Junior on this. "I don't give a shit if you're working with Wal-Mart," Tony says. "Knock it the fuck off." Richie says they're saving for a house; if he can't expand, he can't make enough money to treat Janice right. Tony says the cops are finally leaving garbage alone after five years. If the DEA gets involved, they're fucked. "It's only coke," Richie says. Tony says that if Junior and Richie want to deal drugs, it's their business. But if they do it on the routes, then it's Tony's business. "It stops today, you got it?" Here it comes. Richie just stands there, breathing, staring at Tony. Tony says, "Don't give me your fucking Manson lamps." Brilliant! Hysterical! When I first saw this episode, I rewound to make sure that's what he really said. It has become a part of our vernacular now. "Manson lamps." I love it. Tony tells Richie not to tip a truck on a problem customer. He says he fucking hates having to fucking deal with him, and he hates the way Richie makes him feel. He tells him to get the fuck out of there. Richie finally stops staring, smirks, and walks off. "More Than A Feeling" starts piping in all loud as Tony watches people dance. They get blurry. Tony starts snorting and twitching. He has a panic attack and passes out. Janice and Carmela run over to him, screaming for an ambulance.

Hospital. Carm says they pay a fortune in therapy: "What is she doing for you?" Tony asks Carm to leave him alone. He's broken out in a rash on his arm. The doctor walks in and says that the tests are all normal. Nothing physical. Tony asks what the fuck is wrong with him. The doctor says she'd think he'd be relieved. Tony says he'll be relieved "when someone puts a finger on whatever the fuck is wrong with [him]." Carm tells the doctor she knows she's only trying to help, but it's frustrating. The doctor gives Tony a once-over and tells him that losing some weight wouldn't help. She leaves, all smirky and satisfied.

Junior washes a plate. He's out of detergent. He washes it with a sponge and puts it in the drainer. He turns on the disposal, and it makes bad noises. He turns off the disposal and puts his hand in the drain, making me nervous that the disposal is going to chop his hand to bits for the next thirty seconds. Bobby shows up. Junior asks if he got the ladyfingers. Bobby didn't. I'm terrified that Bobby's going to somehow trigger the disposal. They argue about the broken disposal for a while. Bobby says he'll get someone to fix it. Junior asks who was at the door. It was Catherine; Bobby told her Junior was sleeping. Jun asks if Roberta called back. Bobby says that when he ran into Roberta at Fountains of Wayne, she was cold to him. Junior asks what Roberta was buying. It was a fountain of "kids pissing." Junior concludes that Roberta must have bought a new house. He laments about her nice ass and how great she is. Bobby leaves to take his kid to karate. Junior puts his hand back into the drain and realizes that it's stuck just as Bobby leaves.

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