Sopranos
I Dream Of Jeannie Cusamano

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Psychiatry pays for itself

Meadow and some boy are groping on the couch while they watch some horror movie that I can't identify. The boy asks if she just heard her back gate creak open. Meadow whacks him on the arm and says that he's just trying to scare her. He says that he's scared her father will come home and find his Dominican ass feeling up his daughter. Yeah. Having a father in the Mafia could certainly put a damper on any premarital noodling. Suddenly Livia is outside the window all Alzheimered out, yelling for her sister. AJ stops choking his cannoli, crawls out of bed, and peers out the window -- an entire scene which proffered just way too much information about the lives of pubescent boys. Livia hollers at him or her dead sister, while Meadow runs to open the door. As Meadow explains to Livia that her sister is dead and that she, Meadow, is her granddaughter, the doorbell rings. AJ opens the door, and a police officer walks in, saying that he got a complaint about an old lady walking the streets. Yeah, I'd complain if Livia were walking down my street too. The officer asks Livia if she knows what time it is and what was she doing out there and is this her house and does she recognize AJ, and he ends every question in "dear," and I find it very grating. Like, shut! Up! Police officer, dear. Livia finally remembers that AJ is her grandson.

Tony and Dr. Melfi are discussing Livia: how she showed up at the house; what's to be done about it. Tony says that Livia is being re-tested for Alzheimer's, and that she is being moved to the nursing unit of the home. Which is just what she feared most. Tony feels guilty about it. Dr. Melfi points out that it has been a long odyssey with his mother, and doesn't he think it's interesting that his mother's memory loss started at the same time that there was a failed attempt on his life? Tony isn't sure what she's talking about. Hey, Cleopatra, scoot on over on that barge -- Tony wants a ride on de Nial too. Okay, okay. I'm sorry. That joke really was not funny. A hundred Hail Marys and a shot of tequila. Dr. Melfi asks him if he thinks that it was really a carjacking. Of course not, but he has a good idea who it was and, well, enough said. I can't believe that Dr. Melfi was encouraging him to discuss a subject that could very well make it necessary for her to breach patient-doctor privilege. Like threatening to murder someone. Did she just toss out that little tenet when she took "Patient X" on as a client? Don't the writers know that people watch Law & Order and know all about this stuff?

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Sopranos

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