Sopranos
I Dream Of Jeannie Cusamano

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Psychiatry pays for itself

Little Stevie and his hair are helping Tony avenge the hit. Tony is carrying a really large fish when he "accidentally" and "unexpectedly" runs into Chucky Signore at the marina. Tony pulls a gun out of the fish and shoots Chucky in the head. Hey, Tony, wouldn't a backpack make a better tote than a large semi-tropical fish? Just wondering. Little Stevie, his hair, and Tony hop into Chucky's boat to get rid of the evidence.

Tony stops off at Dr. Melfi's office to try to talk. The second Melfi sees him, she runs back into her office and locks the door. Tony apologizes for yelling at her before; he swears he won't touch her, he just really needs to talk. She won't unlock the door and picks up the phone and dials 911. He says that if she won't talk to him there, they can go to a coffee shop where there will be a lot of people around. He just really needs to talk to her. She asks if she has his word that he will not lay a finger on her. He swears, and she hangs up the phone. After she had the emergency operator on the phone. Doesn't she know that if you dial 911 and then hang up without saying anything, that the 911 operator is instructed to immediately call back, and if they don't get an answer they're required to send an officer out? Just FYI. Anyway, Tony tells Dr. Melfi about his week. Dr. Melfi takes no joy in the fact that she was correct about his mother. Isn't that nice of her? She asks if he's been having any dreams lately. He has. He's been having sex dreams about Stupid Neighbor's wife. He's telling her about it, but then stops himself because he remembers that Dr. Melfi is a friend of the Stupid Neighbors. Besides, they don't have time to talk about it; Tony's here to warn her that the reason there's a contract out on him is because he's been seeing a psychiatrist. Her. She's taken off guard by that revelation and jumps to her feet to swear that she could never testify against him because of doctor-patient privilege. He points out that the mob most likely doesn't really care, and that she needs to get out of town. She says it's impossible; she can't leave her patients. She says she's going to the cops to protect her. Tony points out that the cops won't be able to do anything for her because she doesn't have anything that can help them. He tells her she has no choice but to get out of town. He gets up to leave, but stops to thank her for being a good doctor to him. He walks out, leaving Dr. Melfi looking lost and confused.

Artie Bucco's been looking for Tony, and he finally finds him in a parking lot. He pulls a big old hunting rifle out of the back seat of his station wagon and aims it squarely at Tony's head. Tony thinks that Junior has paid Artie to kill him. Artie's not really listening to Tony as he babbles that he's not scared of death anymore; he's too busy ranting about how Vesuvio's was like a child to him, and that three generations of Buccos ran that restaurant, and that even Tony's own mother has fond memories of the restaurant. The mention of his mother brings Tony up short. He wants to know what she said to Artie. Artie dares Tony to say she's lying, 'cause why would she? Artie. Read the freaking recaps. That's what they're there for.

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Sopranos

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