Hesh's House. My Hebrew hero is a bit peeved that Tony has brought up Fran's claim on the racetrack, because Hesh was of the opinion that he deserved to keep Johnny's share for himself as a reward for all the work he did running the place by himself while Johnny was dead and Phil was in jail. That explanation doesn't exactly fly with Tony, who also wants to know why Hesh never bothered to kick up Tony's percentage of the take. "You were my father's friend!" he shouts. "My friend!" Proving that he's smart enough to read the recaps and knows how we all miss him, Hesh quips, "If I'm such a friend, how come I never see you?" Aw. He's totally a Jewish mother. Tony makes excuses, and claims that he's just been too busy lately. Uh huh. "You're never too busy to call at 2 AM, to hear your problems," gripes Hesh. "One time that happened!" insists Tony. "My therapist was on vacation." Hesh reveals that the track has been sold, and reluctantly agrees to pay off Johnny's share. He does, however, ask Tony for help in getting Phil Leotardo to pay up as well. And then he sighs, and says that something about Fran always seemed to rub him the wrong way. "Maybe because she was rubbing him and not you," snarks Tony. "How long you know me, bub, huh?" replies Hesh. "She's a little pale for my taste." Hee! I love Hesh. Although I probably shouldn't admit that too often. I mean, I loved Furio in season 3, and they ruined him in Season 4. Then I loved Bobby, and they gave him the kiss of death by marrying him off to Janice. If I don't shut up soon, Hesh will probably end up dating Omarosa next season, and fleeing back to Haifa when it doesn't work out.
Melvoin's office. He fast-talks some assistant DA into letting Junior out for another funeral. "You're worth every fucking cent," laughs Junior. Yeah. Not if you've seen my cable bill, he isn't. Then we cut back to Junior's Joint, where he and Bobby are donning their best black suits in anticipation. "They're gonna have Scottish bagpipes," Bobby announces. "It should be interesting." Um...I don't think so. Trust me on this one. My aunt owns an entire collection of bagpipe albums, and unless by "interesting" Bobby actually means, "like a flaming sack full of angry kittens that's been patched into the Shea Stadium sound-system," I'm thinking the guy might have picked the wrong adjective.