Johnny Cakes

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | 3 USERS: B
Johnny Cakes

Tony struts down the street in Newark like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever, stopping to talk to Mrs. Conte, an old lady sitting on a lawn chair on the sidewalk. Hey, we had one of those ladies in my town, too! We called her Mama Scibetta. She even had the rolled-down stockings like Mrs. Conte is wearing. Anyway, Mrs. Conte complains to Tony about the racial slurs living in a nearby apartment and their loud music, and Tony promises to see what he can do. Mrs. Conte thanks him and tells him to say hello to Junior. Yeah, I'm sure Tony will get right on that.

Tony walks into Caputo's Chicken Market or whatever the fuck and makes a "chicken or egg" joke which even Mr. Caputo finds tired. Mr. Caputo says that business is good, and Tony "jokes" that he's going to raise the rent.

At Blockbuster, AJ and his buddy watch a movie on the big screens. They argue about the best way to hold a knife during man-to-man combat, like either of them has any experience with an actual fight. They're interrupted by a customer, a woman holding a young child, who has the audacity to want service. That lady has a lot more patience than I do; I would've already slammed my video down on the counter, sighed, rolled my eyes, walked out, and written a strongly-worded letter to the corporate offices. Because I am eighty years old. AJ's cell phone rings, and it's his buddy Hernan calling to invite him out that night. AJ brags about how much cash he has for drinking purposes, and hangs up. Meanwhile, his buddy gets a cell phone call while processing the video checkout. I'm sorry. If an employee actually TOOK A PERSONAL PHONE CALL while waiting on me, I would be so out of there. Vote with your wallet, lady. Don't put up with that shit. This isn't Clerks. I'm sure there's another non-censoring video store in the next plaza over. Or just join Netflix or Greencine or whatever. Also, AJ and his friend continue to say "fuck" at various intervals, despite the presence of the little kid. Assholes. AJ's buddy is surprised that AJ's been hanging out with Hernan, because he was "such a dick in high school." AJ writes it off to Hernan being a senior when they were underclassmen.

Tony visits Melfi to complain about AJ's lack of work ethic. Tony thinks that he's been more accepting lately, and maybe that's not the way to handle AJ, because Tony's father would have kicked him out already. I think cutting AJ off financially and charging him rent would be a good start. Although at this point, the horse has already fled the paddock, if you know what I'm saying. They can't expect AJ to suddenly now realize the value of hard work and earning your own way in life. Melfi wonders whether Tony has any empathy for AJ, and Tony says that when he was younger he had some scholastic problems, but "he didn't vegetate." Melfi gives a bullshit response about it being "different times" and "true adulthood is delayed." And I don't know if I've mentioned this, but that? Is bullshit. I have students who have been on their own since sixteen, and manage to work two jobs and go to school, and most of them have kids, and most of them are around AJ's age. So let's just chalk AJ up to overly permissive parenting and call it a night. Although I do have a bit of empathy for him due to being a Soprano, but not that much.

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