Sopranos
Johnny Cakes

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | 3 USERS: B
YOU GRADE IT
Johnny Cakes

Melfi visits her psychiatrist, Dr. Bogdanovich. Melfi wants to talk about her father's mental and physical state, which is in decline, but Bogdanovich just wants the dirt on Tony Soprano. Melfi calls Bogdanovich on his fascination "on a tabloid level." Bogdanovich won't admit it. Melfi curtly says that Tony won't talk about the trauma caused by his shooting, and it's "only a 'matter of time' before he decompensates." Bogdanovich blames Tony's unwillingness to open up on "this omerta culture," but Melfi thinks it's something else. Sometimes, in my head, I confuse "decompensate" with "decompose," so I was thinking that Melfi was saying that Tony is going to rot. Which she might be, now that I think about it.

Tony and Carmela watch out the window, as AJ and friends load AJ's now-sold drum kit into a van. Carmela comforts Tony, who looks sad.

AJ and friends head for a club and go right inside without having to wait in line at all. Inside, AJ's friend brags to some underage chicks about how AJ's dad is Tony Soprano, the big boss. The chicks seem impressed. And young. And stupid. It's like how I was at school the other day, and I overheard some jackass telling a young stupid girl about how all the clubs in L.A. are controlled by the Korean mafia. I don't know what the fuck he was going on about, but she seemed impressed. And dumb.

AJ talks to the blonde underage girl (Bag from here on out), who says that her feet get cold when she takes ecstasy. Fascinating. AJ avoids this problem by wearing special socks. Like wool? Or some space-age material? Now I'm fascinated by the special socks. Maybe Paulie got them for AJ at the scuba shop? AJ's friend wants to go back to his apartment and party some more (read: fuck the underaged girls), and AJ is all for it. Bag offers to give AJ a massage, and AJ knows that he is totally in. The waitress comes over, and AJ's friends gesture to AJ, who checks the bill and reads that it's $1890.00. Holy fuck. That's how much my first CAR cost, and I had it for four years, not just one night. To save face, AJ is forced to pretend like he's totally cool with shelling out that much cash. He does actually have the cash, which surprises me. How much did that drum set net him? As they're leaving, a little person comes up and tells AJ that the owner is honored to have him in the club, and sends his regards to Tony. The guy just stands there expectantly until AJ peels off a few bills and hands them over. What does that guy need a tip for? Knowing who AJ was?

Night. Tony and Phil meet in a park. Phil wants to know whether they've found Vito yet, but Tony thinks that it's none of Phil's beeswax. Tony asks about John, and Phil makes a crack about Johnny's "vale of tears," so I guess he's not over that. Phil badgers Tony about Vito some more; Phil thinks that it's his business, since Vito married his cousin. Tony thinks Vito has committed "a victimless crime," but Phil points out that Marie and the kids are the victims. Phil has to rub salt in the wound when he says that Tony's father would know how to handle this situation. Tony gets pissed and snaps, "Don't you fucking tell me what to do. You're only acting boss." If it's not one thing, it's another, meaning that Phil has to bring up his dead freaking brother again, like he is such an old woman with the grudges. Tony calms things down by saying that they're in agreement on the Vito thing, but that Tony needs to be the one to handle it. Phil doesn't looks happy, but Tony walks away before Phil can bring up that time someone in Tony's crew bumped into him on the sidewalk twenty years ago or something.

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