Sopranos
Johnny Cakes

Episode Report Card
Kim: A | 3 USERS: B
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Johnny Cakes

The New Hampshire firemen eat and drink at a bar. Vito, sitting at the bar, sends a drink over. One of the firemen says that he noticed Vito at their practice, watching them the other day. Aw. It's like Morgan Spurlock is the captain of the football team and Vito is the head cheerleader. Morgan invites Vito to join them, assuring the others that Vito has a great sense of humor. Two of the firefighters are clearly a couple, which seems to interest Vito a great deal, as the others don't seem to care much about it.

In the parking lot, Vito checks out Morgan's motorcycle, which is not a euphemism. Yet. Morgan says that he's glad Vito came to their little town, and they share a moment, so Morgan goes in for a kiss. Vito starts to move forward, but then shoves Morgan back and calls him a fag. Morgan tries to back out gracefully, but then gets pissed and calls Vito a "closet queen," and tells him not to send out signals. This leads to a knockdown drag-out, which ends with Vito on the ground and Morgan standing over him. Vito starts to go for a tire iron conveniently placed on the ground nearby. Morgan kicks it out of Vito's hand, calls him an asshole, and takes off on his bike. Oh, Vito.

The Soprano home. Carmela is putting away dishes and telling Tony that he didn't even notice that the salami he just ate was low-fat and low-sodium. Eating salami? Is that a gay reference? Tony walks over to Carmela and thanks her for always looking out for him. They kiss, and it starts to heat up a bit before they are interrupted by AJ. Tony points out how late it is for AJ to be just getting up, and gives AJ a few "gentle" shoves and slaps, which are far from gentle. AJ ignores him. Carmela asks AJ whether he has to work today. AJ ignores her, too, and launches right into a plea for new clothes. Tony asks what happened to the money from the drums, and AJ says that he needs that money for living expenses. Like what? Rent? Laundry? Utilities? Groceries? Those are living expenses, and those are things that AJ doesn't pay for. Carmela points this out, and AJ says he needs nice clothes. Tony thinks that Hernan is a creep, and AJ gets upset. Carmela, apropos of nothing, says that she worked with Hernan's mother on some PTA thing, and that Hernan has a reading disability. What in the hell does that have to do with anything? Tony has pretty much the same reaction. Carmela wants AJ to take an interest in something productive for once. AJ says that he's interested in running a club, and pretends like his nights out are more for research than bagging chicks. AJ thinks that his parents could stake him in a club because they have "all the money in the world." Carmela and Tony both think it's a ridiculous idea, and Carmela brings up event planning again, along with the Culinary Institute. I think AJ needs to go to the school of Hard Knocks and start paying rent, but no one asked me. AJ yells at his mother. Tony offers to get AJ a job at Beansie's, so that he can learn the business from the ground up. AJ is pissed, because the offer of help isn't exactly the offer of help that he wanted, and because he's an ungrateful little cock. Carmela screams that AJ is going back to college, and AJ accuses his parents of not supporting him. I'll show him a lack of support. God, I despise him. AJ stomps out like a baby, and Tony and Carmela fume together. Tony thinks for a minute, and says that maybe they should give AJ a club to see if he rises to the occasion. Carmela points out that AJ is not even of legal drinking age yet. Not to mention that he's never shown any sign of doing anything remotely responsible or taking any initiative or contributing to society in any way.

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Sopranos

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