Sopranos
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Kim: A | 2 USERS: A+
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Alternate Tony wakes up in a hospital bed with a bandage on his head. A young doctor comes in and puts an MRI up on a lightbox. Tony asks how long he's been there, but doesn't get an answer. The doctor launches right into an explanation of the MRI. He says that Tony has dark areas in his brain, indicating areas where Tony's brain was oxygen-deprived, which are signs of Alzheimer's. Tony protests that he's only forty-six years old, and then curses the business trip. The doctor points out that nowadays there are treatment options, but Tony thinks "it's a death sentence." He adds, "You're a smurf for ten or fifteen years, and then you die, shitting in your pajamas. I know people with Alzheimer's." The doctor doesn't argue, but encourages "Mr. Finnerty" to talk to his own doctor at home. Tony explains about the identity mixup. The doctor asks Tony what his real name is, and Tony says he won't even know that soon. The doctor tells Tony to rest there a while, and tells him he's lucky he didn't break his neck when he fell. As the doctor leaves, Tony calls out, "I'm lost!" I don't know if that whole scene was supposed to be indicative of Tony hearing the doctors talking about his possible brain damage, or had something to do with Junior's problems, or had something to do with Tony's fears of losing his identity, or all of the above. I think I'll make a poll about that.

Back in the real world, Meadow sits by Tony's bedside and talks to him. She relates how AJ ate a bad burrito and got sick. She is really reaching for conversational topics, clearly. She adds, "Finn's coming out. He really likes you." Out of things to say, she just kisses the top of Tony's head. Then, she decides to read Tony a poem by Jacques Prevert which begins, "Our Father, which art in heaven, stay there. And we shall stay on earth, which is sometimes, so pretty."

There's a crash cut to Casa di Soprano, which is apparently sometimes so pretty. Carmela's in the shower, leaning against the wall with her eyes closed. I actually used to fall asleep in the shower when I was in college sometimes. My professors didn't buy it as the reason why I was late for class.

Downstairs, various people are loading up plates with food. People really do load you down during a crisis. When my mom died, one woman we barely knew brought over a giant tray of salad, the biggest bottle of ranch dressing ever, an entire ham, and a vat of mashed potatoes. It was very sweet, but the irony is that, in situations like that, you usually don't really feel like eating. Anyway, AJ does feel like eating, and he piles food on his plate. Meadow kind of looks at him, and he says defensively, "I took some Pepto Bismol!" Silvio, Paulie, and Vito are also sitting around eating. Vito totally rips a fart on Tony's couch. I think that symbolizes how little respect Vito has for Tony. Or that Vito is just gassy.

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Sopranos

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