Episode Report Card
Kim: B- | 3 USERS: A

Tony and AJ struggle to put up the Christmas tree. Carm goes through the mail and finds a letter informing her that the stop-work order on her spec house has been repealed, and construction can begin immediately. She realizes it was Tony's doing and gives him a big hug.

Phil and his wife discuss their plans for Christmas Eve. Well, Mrs. Phil goes on and on about shrimp while Phil eats dinner. Their house is not nearly as nice as you would expect, given Phil's position. Phil complains that he doesn't feel well. Their maid walks by, and it's Phil's goomar. Nothing like keeping it in the family. Phil continues to complain about tightness in his chest, but his wife says that he just had a checkup and should be fine. They talk about what Christmas will be like for Vito's family this year, and Mrs. Phil remembers that Vito's daughter sang while Vito played the piano. This inspires Phil to proclaim that he needs to take a shit.

Cut to the hospital, where a doctor is telling Phil that he's not showing any signs of having a heart attack, and that it's probably just indigestion. Reminds me of the time I had girly problems and the doctor told me, without touching any part of my body, that it was heartburn. Cut to twelve hours later, when I'm doubled over in pain in the emergency room, until I got an actual hands-on examination and diagnosis. Thanks, doc!

Julianna parks her car next to Christopher's in a parking area somewhere and apologizes for being late. Christopher pulls out some heroin, and they both smoke it. Well that was a quick backslide. So now they make dates to smoke up together? Romantic! They both nod out.

In the middle of the night, Phil wakes up unable to breathe and clutching his chest. His wife rushes him to the emergency room where the same doctor from earlier calls for a crash cart.

Paulie hangs out at the Bing, where the girls on stage are decked out in holiday finery, or lack thereof. He tells Tony that he fucked a girl in a Santa hat once, but he lost his erection because it was too distracting. Yeah, I'm sure that's why, Paulie, and it had nothing to do with the fact that you are scared of women. Murmur comes in and breaks the news about Phil's heart attack. Tony is elated, as everyone else looks kind of disturbed. Sil points out that maybe the devil you know is better than the devil you don't.

Junior sits in his facility, stewing, until Bobby Bacala shows up. Junior is thrilled to have company, and informs everyone that "bacala" means "salted cod," which is actually a discussion that our forum posters had a few weeks back, strangely enough. Bobby and Junior sit down, and Junior starts bitching about his surroundings. Bobby says that he can't stay long, but he wanted to return the cash Junior sent him. Junior says that it was gift for Bobby and Karen, who's dead, so clearly Junior is still suffering from dementia. Bobby can't accept it, since Junior shot Tony. Junior says it's not that simple, and that he might not have been acting alone. Bobby gets frustrated with the JFK shit. Junior starts talking more nonsense, and Bobby leaves over Junior's protests. After Bobby walks out, Junior hands the cash to an orderly nearby and says, "One hand washes the other."

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