Live Free Or Die

Episode Report Card
Daniel: B+ | 1 USERS: A-
Cockaround Guys

It's at this point that Meadow struts in, all dressed up, and Rosalie says something about the little lady. Carm proudly says that she's interning at a law firm with a couple of Italian names. Meadow asks what the deal is with Vito, and Carm just says that he and Marie are having some problems. Meadow says that she can probably guess, and she and Carm face each other down, neither wanting to go first, only each secretly dying to. Carm says that Vito is possibly gay. Meadow sees her "possibly gay" and raises her to "Finn saw him giving some guy a blowjob." Take the pot, Meadow. Rosalie looks like she just involuntarily evacuated her bowels. She and Carmela can't believe this, and Meadow explains the whole story, and that Finn's still freaked out about it, and neither of them said anything about it, because Vito warned them against it.

Tony strolls in, singing a song to himself, the lyrics of which I suppose I could look up because it undoubtedly offers some trenchant meta-commentary, but...meh. Carmela, to Meadow's horror, says that Tony needs to hear something. Tony just looks like, "Aw, what the fuck now?"

What the fuck now is that Tony brings Finn into the back room at the Bing. Everybody makes dentist jokes, until Tony cuts the joviality (not that Finn has been put at ease at all) by saying that Finn has some bad news, and he sits Finn down and asks him to tell them what he saw. Finn looks around the room. He's terrified.

Cut to Vito going for a stroll along the Dartford main drag, in his stylish track suit. He passes an antique shop, gazes inside. He goes for a walk in the park, and sits by a rocky waterfall. If you ask me, I will tell you that I think the water represents the inner turmoil he feels, that gradually becomes calmer and calmer after making it down the rocks. It also symbolizes me really needing to take a whiz.

Back at the Bing, Finn has apparently filled in the crew. Tony's staring at him like this is the first time he's heard the sordid details, which doesn't seem right to me. He didn't ask Finn himself first? Silvio's under the impression that Vito was getting blown by the security guard, and Finn corrects him, saying 'twas the other way around. This sends everyone into a lather, which Carlo expresses as "He was pitching, not catching!" Maybe he was just a relief pitcher? With not very many blown saves? Oh, great, now I'm doing it. ["Plus...wasn't he catching? I don't know much about baseball, I guess." -- Wing Chun] Finn looks quite uncomfortable. I love people busting on Finn for being so scared here. It's the back room of a strip club with the New Jersey mob, and people are all, "Finn's a pussy. Just say what happened! If it was me, I'd be all, 'Tony, Vito was slobbing the guy's knob. You gonna let that stand?' And I'd stomp out all, 'Later,' after I punch Paulie in the face to show I'm tough as fuck. But that's just how I roll. Finn's a puss. Shit." Finn wants to make sure Vito won't know Finn told on him. Paulie says, "You ain't gonna have no problem from Vito. Believe me." Why, whatever do you mean, Paulie? Finn wants to know what they're going to do. Chris, who might not be as dumb as he's seemed lately, says, albeit somewhat unconvincingly, that they'll get him to pay for some therapy. Finn: "I choose to believe this." Then Tony tells him to go outside, and get a sandwich, whatever kind he likes, and a soda, and someone will take him back. (It's like Tony's talking to a seven-year-old. ["Sure, but who doesn't enjoy a free sandwich and cool beverage?" -- Wing Chun]) Finn strolls out, somewhat concerned, but I'll guarantee you he's just the teensiest bit relieved that maybe he just signed Vito's death warrant. You can't spell fanook without Finn. Well, not all of it, anyway.

Chris says that it'd be an honour to kill the "fat faggot" himself, and cut off his wang, and feed it to him. Tony wants everyone to calm down. Bobby hilariously says that they can't have him in the social club anymore: "That much I do know." How did Bobby even get into the mafia? "You gotta pay me protection, or you don't get to come to the barbecue!" Carlo busts on him: "'Social club'? He's gotta go!" Tony wants to think about things, and Bobby backs him up, so you know how much support that's going to get from everyone else. Paulie jumps up and wants to know what there is to think about, and doesn't back down, so Tony has to get in his face and ask whether Paulie's going to look after Vito's kids once he's gone. Paulie looks like he thinks that's a valid point, and even Christopher says, "That's true. They didn't do anything. Poor little guys." Paulie calms down, apologizing to Tony for yelling. Chris makes a joke about Vito "greasing the unions." It slays Patsy, anyway. Tony unnecessarily tells everyone that this doesn't leave the room. Everybody nods.

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